A while ago I pretty much swore off running into celebrities. It was just getting out of control, and the people I was seeing were getting too exciting and too popular. But, now that three weeks or so have passed, I've decided to let celebrities back into my life. But my new rule is that they have to be standing on street corners and that they can't touch me. I don't want them bothering me at my meals or bumping into me unexpectedly or appearing in crowds, duos, or threesomes.
The first celebrity I let appear before me was Gael Garcia Bernal, who stepped out of Tower Video when I was on my way back to work after lunch last Friday. (It should be noted that during that lunch I ran into the elusive, astounding Elna Baker, a celebrity in her own right.) I won't have anyone saying Senor Bernal isn't hot, because, listen: he's hot. That's the long and the short (mostly short) of it. New Rule: if you're a celebrity and I run into you, it helps if you've dated a celebrity I've already run into, and I'm not even going to act all weird about it or pick sides or anything.
Then this morning I saw Harold Ramis (Dr. Egon Spengler, Mr. "I Wrote and Directed Caddyshack") on my way to work, crossing 3rd street at Thompson. I guess this is my other rule: if you're a celebrity, I'll only run into you on my way to work. Mr. Ramis looks like a Dad, or one of your Dad's friends. I want to see more famous people that look like they might work in my dad's office. Can you do that, celebs?