Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Best Totally Awesome Demise

This is a post for people who used to live in Utah but don't anymore, because you'd have to have lived in Utah to know about this guy, and if you live in Utah, then you already know this news. Anyway . . .


Hey, remember Totally Awesome Computers, the little Utah computer company that could, and more importantly, do you remember "Super Dell," the owner of Totally Awesome Computers and star of all their commercials? You know, the little guy that came across as a little crazy? But that was just to get us interested in his computers, right? Well, he unexpectedly shut down his chain of stores last week and this Salt Lake Tribune article has enough details on the situation to make you laugh a little at first but then start to feel more than a little uncomfortable.

If you're not much for clicking links, let me provide you with one of the article's choicest paragraphs, an explanation of why his stores had to close:

"This is thanks to all of you," Schanze told reporters gathered outside the Jordan Commons Megaplex. "All the media in Utah are liars and murderers . . . . I would not want to be in your shoes having caused this. You are agents of Satan and you need to repent."

Yeah, I can't say this news is totally surprising. But what is surprising is that I can't find any Totally Awesome Computers ads on the internet, if you saw one this whole post would mean a lot more to you.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Dell Schanze was a self-important jackass who liked to blaze down my relatives residential streets at 80+ MPH. When enough angry neighborhood residents finally confronted him about it, he pulled a gun.

Seeing this clown go down in flames is a rare delight. Only in Utah, of course, would the lines be so quotable :)

Anonymous said...

so um, is this guy like totally gay or what?

Tannertrue said...

Can't say I am totally bummed about this. His commercials made me ill. And his behavior towards the media just proves that he is a schizophrenic weirdo.

But who will provide the greater Utah area with low quality, non humorous, slightly annoying advertisments?

Anonymous said...

His comments are what we in the mental health field call Delusions of Grandeur...this guys obviously has some mental stability issues and needs help! But that should be no suprise to anyone who has seen his commercials....or his infomercial...that was absoultely scary.

Anonymous said...

Did you know that he was missing some fingers? If you watch his commercials closely you can see the missing digits.

Brigham said...

I hope that someone is working on a massive expose on the rise and fall of Mr. Schanze because it would make for fascinating reading.

Tannerama: PC Laptops will!

Natalie: YES! His informercial, where he tells the story of how he decided to drive to his sister's house in Chicago without knowing where it was? Turns out that along with being a crazy computer guy, Schanze is the closest thing to a Mormon televangelist I've ever seen.
Also, PS, you snuck off to Utah very sneakily.

Amber B.: Did not know this. Another reason it's regretable that there isn't a Totally Awesome Computers ad warehouse on the internet.

Anonymous said...

You wacky Utahans...

I never cease to be amazed by your antics.

Side of Jeffrey said...

I was obsessed with Super Dell's infomercial - I couldn't stop talking about it for like 2 days once upon a time in Provjo.

I think we are all just jealous because of his closeness to the spirit. I mean - its like he has a spiritual GPS system IN his body!!!

I wonder if he can say "Taco Bell" and his spiritual internal system will guide him to the nearest one?

marshall p said...

I'm sad that I never got to see that infomercial, as infomercials are my passion. Maybe the government (or Bill Gates really) put some kind of chip in his brain that changed his personality from antic/crazy to nutjob/fanatic? c'est possible.

Twinkie said...

this is what i miss most about utah. religion and business. such splendid bedfellows!

cory said...

The Utah radio stations should be grateful that Crazy Dell is gone. Those dang commercials were so annoying that I would turn the radio station anytime Crazy Dell would come on. Who knows how many listeners were lost by those stations who ran his ads.

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Anonymous said...

Everyone who purchases from PC Laptops should know that Dell Schanze still received a regular paycheck from PC Laptops owner Dan Young from the sale of Totally Awesome Computers. Aside from being a hopped-up lying fraud like Dell, "Dan The Laptop Man" has been keeping Dell from being completely broke since at least 2003.