Jared Kushner, who I sat behind in Prof. Chevigny's Evidence class my 2L year, just bought the New York Observer. Which is a newspaper. For under $10 million.
(The best part of the breaking newsreport: "Kushner is independently wealthy" Gee, you think?)
This reminds me of a story . . .
One morning I was showing some of the kids around me an up for sale town house that was blowing my mind and joked like "I've got to get my parents to get me this." Jared looked back, asked how much it was (The Answer: 6 or 7 million) and made a "that seems like a fair price" sort of nod with his face.
Not to be outdone, I'd like to announce that a major Project Runway fan-blog linked to me on Friday and I got hundreds upon hundreds of hits. So I've got that going for me.
Sunday, July 30, 2006
Thursday, July 27, 2006
Best Reality Show That I'm Secretly a Contestant On
Last night I watched the Project Runway for the first time. I was totally into it.
The assignment for the designers to was to design a lady's outfit and a matching outfit for her dog and that the two outfits had to tell a story. I really liked this assignment and immediately knew what my design and story would be.
Here is the story about my lady:
This lady is a socialite fasionista Park Avenue princess who loves going to brunch with her girlfriends to dish about fashion and headbands and their boyfriends that work at hedge funds and takes her dog, Taquito, with her everywhere. Also, her and her dog dress as dinosaurs.
And here is my drawing:
I would have won!!
The assignment for the designers to was to design a lady's outfit and a matching outfit for her dog and that the two outfits had to tell a story. I really liked this assignment and immediately knew what my design and story would be.
Here is the story about my lady:
This lady is a socialite fasionista Park Avenue princess who loves going to brunch with her girlfriends to dish about fashion and headbands and their boyfriends that work at hedge funds and takes her dog, Taquito, with her everywhere. Also, her and her dog dress as dinosaurs.
And here is my drawing:
I would have won!!
Best New Ex-SNLer Trailer
Mr. Ferrell: Less Ricky Bobby more Stranger Than Fiction, please.
Oh, you didn't feel like clicking on the Stranger Than Fiction link? What, you didn't want to see Buster Bluth in a movie?
Wait . . . I was watching the trailer while composing this post . . . it tapers off at the very end.
Oh, you didn't feel like clicking on the Stranger Than Fiction link? What, you didn't want to see Buster Bluth in a movie?
Wait . . . I was watching the trailer while composing this post . . . it tapers off at the very end.
Best!!!
Manhattan just turned perfect, there's an Arby's here now!
Eater told me so.
Finding out that there was no Arby's here during my first year of school was as rough as figuring out how so-so the Mexican food is here.
With the new openings in my schedule, you can expect an Arby's report soon . . . but right now I'm so full of homemade taquitos that I can barely think of delicious, delicious roast beef sandwiches.
Not only is Arby's probably best restaurant, it is responsible for one of my most favorite Seinfeld quotes (from "The Dealership"):
ELAINE: (Full of pride) My new salesman boyfriend took me out to celebrate his promotion.
JERRY: Ah. Where’d you go?
ELAINE: (Obviously embarrassed) Uh, to a restaurant.
PUDDY: Arby’s.
ELAINE: I had the roast beef...
Uhm, you sort of need to see how she says it, because that's the funny part.
Eater told me so.
Finding out that there was no Arby's here during my first year of school was as rough as figuring out how so-so the Mexican food is here.
With the new openings in my schedule, you can expect an Arby's report soon . . . but right now I'm so full of homemade taquitos that I can barely think of delicious, delicious roast beef sandwiches.
Not only is Arby's probably best restaurant, it is responsible for one of my most favorite Seinfeld quotes (from "The Dealership"):
ELAINE: (Full of pride) My new salesman boyfriend took me out to celebrate his promotion.
JERRY: Ah. Where’d you go?
ELAINE: (Obviously embarrassed) Uh, to a restaurant.
PUDDY: Arby’s.
ELAINE: I had the roast beef...
Uhm, you sort of need to see how she says it, because that's the funny part.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
Best Here are Some Things About Bar Day Two
1) Mujibur was there. I am not making this up. His hair is whiter now. He had sooo many pencils.
2) I don't know how I did, but I do know I wasn't the guy tearing off his shirt in frustration.
2) I don't know how I did, but I do know I wasn't the guy tearing off his shirt in frustration.
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
Best Here are Some Things About Bar Day One
Just some things.
1) There were two pigeons flying around inside the whole time.
2) I was sitting at my table, looking at my bottle of water in a thoughtful moment of distraction and thought "A great way to cheat would be to put notes on the label of my water bottle, or on the inside" but right then one of the ladies that kept an eye on us came by and told me I'd have to keep my bottle on the floor.
3) I don't usually have water bottles.
4) I don't know if I did bad or good or not but the day ended and that's what matters.
5) They gave us wristbands that we have to wear to get in. It's like the Bar is a waterpark and your second day is free.
6) During the morning part of the test there was this loud noise and I saw a whole bunch of the watcher people gathered around a desk far away from me. Maybe someone fainted.
7) If anyone wants to hang out or eat food or see movies or play video games, I'm available starting tomorrow around 5.
8) Except I want to go on my spring break that I had been putting off soon.
Me, me, me, me, me.
1) There were two pigeons flying around inside the whole time.
2) I was sitting at my table, looking at my bottle of water in a thoughtful moment of distraction and thought "A great way to cheat would be to put notes on the label of my water bottle, or on the inside" but right then one of the ladies that kept an eye on us came by and told me I'd have to keep my bottle on the floor.
3) I don't usually have water bottles.
4) I don't know if I did bad or good or not but the day ended and that's what matters.
5) They gave us wristbands that we have to wear to get in. It's like the Bar is a waterpark and your second day is free.
6) During the morning part of the test there was this loud noise and I saw a whole bunch of the watcher people gathered around a desk far away from me. Maybe someone fainted.
7) If anyone wants to hang out or eat food or see movies or play video games, I'm available starting tomorrow around 5.
8) Except I want to go on my spring break that I had been putting off soon.
Me, me, me, me, me.
I Don't Know About You
But I think it's weird that Slayer and Mastadon are playing a Free MySpace Show in Salt Lake tonight.
Sunday, July 23, 2006
Best Brother Sister Bonding
The Nachos Aztecas at Las Fuentes have been bringing members of the Barnes family together for years and years and years. Las Fuentes is like the most important restaurant to the us in all of Chicago. It has appeared on Steady Mobbin' many times before, twice in fact (here and here).
I had the flautas. Some people might give flautas and taquitos the thumbs down as tbeing for babies when it comes to Mexican food, and to them I say "Keep your thumbs pointed down while I grab all your flautas and taquitos!"
Emily had the burritos suizos . . . when the waitress asked Emily if she meant the burritos suizos (which are three "little" burritos) or the burrito suizo grande (which would be a single, large burrito) I suggested to Emily that she order a big burrito with three little burritos inside of it.
I suppose this would be the fuente after which Las Fuentes gets its name. It rained real hard while we were having dinner.
Crossing the expressway.
Before getting home Emily and I went to the grocery store to get food to cook tomorrow (I'm making my parents their anniversary dinner and they don't even know it! shhhh, they're getting tacos!) Just the produce section at the River Forest Dominick's is bigger than any of the three grocery stores that are by my apartment in New York. My mind was blown!
And Emily was like, "No big deal, this is small compared to the produce sections I'm used to."
Also, River Forest Dominick's lives in the future, you can buy your groceries there with your fingerprint! WHat?!?!
If you ever have some face painting that needs to be done, I know a piece of paper at a grocery store you should have a look at.
I had the flautas. Some people might give flautas and taquitos the thumbs down as tbeing for babies when it comes to Mexican food, and to them I say "Keep your thumbs pointed down while I grab all your flautas and taquitos!"
Emily had the burritos suizos . . . when the waitress asked Emily if she meant the burritos suizos (which are three "little" burritos) or the burrito suizo grande (which would be a single, large burrito) I suggested to Emily that she order a big burrito with three little burritos inside of it.
I suppose this would be the fuente after which Las Fuentes gets its name. It rained real hard while we were having dinner.
Crossing the expressway.
Before getting home Emily and I went to the grocery store to get food to cook tomorrow (I'm making my parents their anniversary dinner and they don't even know it! shhhh, they're getting tacos!) Just the produce section at the River Forest Dominick's is bigger than any of the three grocery stores that are by my apartment in New York. My mind was blown!
And Emily was like, "No big deal, this is small compared to the produce sections I'm used to."
Also, River Forest Dominick's lives in the future, you can buy your groceries there with your fingerprint! WHat?!?!
If you ever have some face painting that needs to be done, I know a piece of paper at a grocery store you should have a look at.
Best Prediction, the Supplement
Will there be 90's nostalgia ska parties? Maybe, I can see it happening . . . but please, only if it's 90's 1st and 2nd wave nostalgia nostalgia. But mostly, I'd like to dare anyone to tell me that "One Step Beyond" won't always be the joint. If I were a dj, I would have played that song tonight at the popular imaginary danceparty that I dj, in my brain.
Also, later next week I'm going to start blogging about how I liked things that are popular now before everyone else did. It's going to be awesome!
Also, later next week I'm going to start blogging about how I liked things that are popular now before everyone else did. It's going to be awesome!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Best Prediction
I had to get this onto the internet before it became a fad and swept the nation.
So people have been loving the 80's since the mid-90's now, and we're officially totally in the mid-00's, so 90's love is on the rise (consider this super-hot trailer for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, if you will) and I have a prediction to make:
Rave-themed 90's Parties shall become the new Prom-themed 80's Party.
Keep your eyes and ears peeled.
The Rave party will be a little tricky as putting together a rave playlist would be considerably more difficult than burning a Cheesey 80's Mix. "Energy Flash" and "O Fortuna" don't exactly have touch hearts like "If You Leave" or "The Promise" but I think people's willingness to adopt some nostalgia will win out.
So people have been loving the 80's since the mid-90's now, and we're officially totally in the mid-00's, so 90's love is on the rise (consider this super-hot trailer for the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie, if you will) and I have a prediction to make:
Rave-themed 90's Parties shall become the new Prom-themed 80's Party.
Keep your eyes and ears peeled.
The Rave party will be a little tricky as putting together a rave playlist would be considerably more difficult than burning a Cheesey 80's Mix. "Energy Flash" and "O Fortuna" don't exactly have touch hearts like "If You Leave" or "The Promise" but I think people's willingness to adopt some nostalgia will win out.
Best Unexpected Bestness
Something that maybe you didn't know: I didn't see a midnight screening of Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man's Chest, or even see it on the day it opened, or even the weekend it opened. In fact, I didn't see Pirates of the Caribbean until the evening of July 20th. That gave me plenty of time to hear pretty negative or iffy things about it from my friends and family. In fact, I don't think I talked to a single person that straight-up liked it. And this all seemed so ridiculous to me, that people could dislike the Pirates movie, but these weren't just the usual haters putting the movie down, it was all sorts of trustworthy, respectable folk. So I went into Pirates tonight/last night bracing myself for disappointment (which is different from going in with low expectations, that's what I would be doing if I were even considering seeing Lady in the Water). During the first two acts the movie came close to losing me, but by the third act (and no, I can't tell you precisely when each act began or ended) something clicked and I was digging the movie real hard. So much bravery! So much treachery! So much heroism! So much villainy! Here's a numbered list of impressions.
BTW, I'm just going to assume that I was the last person in the world to see this movie and will probably be talking about all the "spoilers" so steer clear if that's a problem for you.
1) The movie has been universally criticized for its length. Surprise, surprise, I didn't want it to end. It's not like it was a Lord of the Rings movie. But during the middle of the film, when I didn't know that I was going to love it, I really wished they had skipped some of the stuff at the beginning. I imagine a version of this movie where the first time we see Jack Sparrow and his crew is on the cannibal island and everything that happened up to then would be explained later.
2) OH! After seeing Pirates 1 I SO knew that Will Turner's dad was alive. I tried telling people this like a missionary on some sort of . . . uhm . . . mission. Because he was cursed like everyone else! So he was just trapped, undead at the bottom of the sea. But in my version, he had gotten free and walked along the ocean floor to land. And my version of Boostrap Bill was a lot more, uh, dashing?
3) If I had tentacles I would have woken up.
4) The plot stuff that I didn't understand during the movie I'm going to assume was explained too quickly by people with accents or mouths full of water. It wasn't until my third viewing of Pirates 1 that I had a firm understanding of why everything that happened happened and the ins and outs of the curse, so I'm going to assume the same about Pirates 2 until it proves me wrong.
5) There were some incredibly wicked double-entendres in this movie.
6) There was some incredibly great double-crossings in this movie, I mean, come on! Did you know Elizabeth had it in her? Did you really?
7) At the same time, come on, weren't you like yessss (fist pump) when Jack had his change of heart and then what a great shot of him back on the deck of the Pearl.
8) I could NOT believe how Empire Strikes Back this movie was. I mean, if you take Han Solo's twist from the end of A New Hope and then add the end of Empire, you've got the end of Empire Strikes Back.
9) I loved Barbosa's return! And by Barbosa's return, I mean when the monkey found him in the Voodoo Hut. I was just like sweeeeeeeet when I saw that and when he officially returned at the very end I was like "Yeahh."
10) I loved how the monkey was like this little bonus problem that came with reclaiming the Pearl. If you never stuck around for the extra scene at the end of Pirates 1 then you probably had to have the person next to you explain that.
11) I could have done without the necklace of toes.
12) What did the Indian in the other bone ball say to Will that made his ball want to go faster? I didn't hear that at all.
13) Jack escaping from the cannibals and the business with the fruit on his pole almost lost me.
13.5) During the middle part of the movie where I was close to disliking this movie I thought to myself, "What is this, some sort of Harry Potter movie?"
14) Let's hear it for digital effects! I mean, seriously you guys, Davey Jones' beard? Come on!
15) EFY's theme next year is probably going to be "Which Way Does Your Compass Point?" I mean, that's something you can think about in bed at night, if you followed the arrow on Jack Sparrow's compass, where would it take you?
16) That Voodoo Lady. Whoah. Better than the Oracle from the Matrix, that's for sure.
17) What, exactly, was the deal with that dark cliffy castle place at the beginning? I mean, what sort of a place was that? What business were they up to there? I hope this is at least touched on in the next movie. Because, I don't know about you, but I think it was a bad place.
18) I want it to be Jack and Elizabeth together at the end of Pirates3.
I think that's it. If you haven't guessed, that picture up top is of Jack in Pirates 3 (so maybe he isn't dead?). I got it from this forum post. Click around in there, it looks like the bad Asian pirates from Swiss Family Robinson are back at it again!
Tuesday, July 18, 2006
Best Little Bit of an Update
Speedy departure
Let the Cool Goddess Rust Away
Studying on the plane.
It can be hard to study at home so I go to the new library.
Walking home from the library, past all sorts of Oak Park landmarks
This is where you get
One of these (it's not a salad, it's a hot dog)
Walking through Old Oak Park on my way home
I saw five bunnies. Four were on this lawn.
(Number Four. Anti-social bunny.)
Be it Ever so Humble
The house was packed so I shared a room with grandma at the motel.
Owen's going away party.
Spain = Piñatas
Just cuz the head got knocked off doesn't mean the candy comes out.
(When all the family is out you can go days without taking a picture. If my mom had a blog, there'd be so many pictures of people standing around in Sunday clothes or babies sitting on laps as grown ups play video games.)
Owen leaves.
Let the Cool Goddess Rust Away
Studying on the plane.
It can be hard to study at home so I go to the new library.
Walking home from the library, past all sorts of Oak Park landmarks
This is where you get
One of these (it's not a salad, it's a hot dog)
Walking through Old Oak Park on my way home
I saw five bunnies. Four were on this lawn.
(Number Four. Anti-social bunny.)
Be it Ever so Humble
The house was packed so I shared a room with grandma at the motel.
Owen's going away party.
Spain = Piñatas
Just cuz the head got knocked off doesn't mean the candy comes out.
(When all the family is out you can go days without taking a picture. If my mom had a blog, there'd be so many pictures of people standing around in Sunday clothes or babies sitting on laps as grown ups play video games.)
Owen leaves.
Monday, July 17, 2006
Best Rerun
Dear Readers,
As you may or may not know, I am in Chicago right now and I am studying for the bar. I am also having teeny tiny adventures and sometimes take photos, but for the time being, Steady Mobbin' is almost on hiatus. Today I am posting a post that originally appeared on January 20, 2005. It is a list of good manners that I wrote and people seemed to like it back then. My readership has really changed in the last year and a half and many of might never have read this, so I am reposting it for everyone's enjoyment or rejoyment. Also, I have slipped in some changes because some of this stuff needs to be changed (and that way there's something new for everyone.)
Repost Begins NOW
As you may know, if you are my mother or a close friend, I am nuts about manners. Etiquette books captivate me. I'm pretty much walking around the time, thinking about good behavior (if only I could act on this fascination . . . but that's another post altogether.) Anyway, a week ago the Meddler wrote a post on the importance of good manners and it just set my manners brain on fire and I've been thinking about etiquette extra hard for the last week and I've finally come up with this, the Steady Mobbin' A to Z of Brilliantly Great Behavior. You might think this is a big joke, but I'm totally serious, and you may think this is a big rip off of something you may have seen in Vice once, but I'd rather you not dwell on that.
THE STEADY MOBBIN' A TO ZED OF BRILLIANTLY GREAT BEHAVIOR
Apartments One of the first things I learned about Manhattan manners is that it is not rude to ask people what kind of square footage they’ve got or what sort of rent they’re paying. It’s pretty much how one says hello to someone they’ve just met out here. Update: So important! This rule of etiquette only applies when comparing like apartments . . . for example, if you live in a studio in the West Village and are visiting friends with a two bedroom in the East Village that seems only a little bigger than your studio apartment, you're totally expected to ask how big their apartment is and then to (tastefully) ask what kind of rent they pay. When you discover that you've been invited over to someone's apartment and it's twice as big and luxurious as any apartment you've ever visited sure you can ask what the square footage is (because maybe there's another room that you didn't even notice?) but you totally can't ask what they pay. Duh.
Busses If it’s the early evening and you’re supposed to meet up with a friend, it is very bad manners to take the M14 bus because it will take forever and you will be late. “I had to wait forever for the subway” is always an acceptable excuse for tardiness, “I was on the bus forever” is never an acceptable excuse because we all know it was really sloppy for you to think you could take a bus in the first place.
Car Door It has always been my manners fantasy to get to open the car door for someone who was getting out of a car.
Dog Runs The signs at the dog runs always say that you aren’t supposed to bring your dog to the dog run if it is in heat, and this always cracks me up, because I’m not very mature . . . especially if you were also going to break the rule about bringing a big dog into the small dogs dog run (but I suppose it’d be more funny if you were to bring a little dog to the big dog dog run, but I’m going to far.) Also, the signs at the dog runs also say you aren’t supposed to pick up your dog, because an exposed dog belly is a sign of weakness and invites attack. Sorry Kelsi.
Elvis Costello I’m sure Elvis Costello really appreciates how discreet I am about how he lives in the same apartment building as me and how I may give him good, long stares whenever I see him in the lobby but never get all up in his grill. But should we ever wind up in the same elevator, whoah boy, he’ll be getting an earful. (Note to Self: learn something about Elvis Costello’s music) Update: You should see how Elvis acts on the elevator. He's always looking at something on his cellphone and he holds it really close to himself and doesn't look up. If he's getting onto a crowded elevator he never asks someone to get his floor, he just reaches past everyone and hits the button. Come on Elvis, be a friendly neighbor.
Friends It isn’t polite to tell your friends if they’re doing something that’s bad manners, which is a crying shame, because you’re a real pig sometimes.
Garbage Room I say it isn’t rude to take your neighbors old magazines that they’ve put in the garbage room recycling bins home for your own perusal, but I’m not sure what they’d think. Also, it is very good manners that if you’re leaving a defective appliance at the curb to be taken away to leave a little sign on it like “Danger! This Lamp is Dangerous!” because you know somebody is going to see your old lamp and want to take it home. Update: Sometimes you go for months without finding any good magazines in the garbage room, but you do find two bookshelves and a dresser.
Helping People Move If someone helps you move, you pretty much owe them, or someone else who comes along in the great chain of moving karma, help moving—or you at least owe it to yourself to have a really, really good excuse as to why you can’t help them move (besides “I’m sorry, I really hate moving—that’s why I had you help me that first time, you know” even though if honesty truly equals goodness it would be the best excuse in the world.)
Ice Cream It was rude of me to eat an ice cream cone in front of you because I always make the biggest mess. I’m realizing that the cup is no longer a sign of weakness or lack of fancifulness but a statement I shouldn’t be afraid to make, “Yes, I Wind Up Sticky When I Get a Sugar Cone.”
Jokes Everyone loves jokes, if they’re appropriate. If you think of a funny joke, but it’s inappropriate, then you shouldn’t tell it. But if you think of a funny joke, and it’s really, really inappropriate, then you should definitely tell it. Works for me, at least.
Karate Chops If your friend is practicing his karate chops, it would be rude of you not hold a wooden board for him to chop—but if he’s practicing his flying karate kicks, it’s okay to say you’d rather not hold the board in front of yourself for him, because he’s probably going to go flying right through it and into you.
Love If you love a new TV show, it’d be rude of you not to start a website or bulletin board about how much you love that new show, especially if it’s a reality show.
Mala Educacion Pedro Almodovar’s new movie is called “Mala Educacion”, and all the signs in English call it “Bad Education”, but, in Spanish, to say someone’s got a “mala educacion” is to say they’ve got bad manners. No wonder everyone is giving this movie four stars, it’s probably a totally awesome Spanish movie about the importance of manners. For cross-dressers. Update: Once Elder Rivera told me that it was mala educacion for me to tell him that he had something (wax) hanging out of his ear while we were talking to the girl in the little store and I pretended like I didn't know that. Oh! You know what is really mala educacion in Mexico? Making noises with your straw as you finish a beverage! All the things I saw in that country and that's the one that was rude!
Nerf Weaponry Even though your Nerf sword is soft that doesn’t make it okay to hit people with it whenever you want. (Especially if those people are old.)
Old People You should always be nice to old people, especially old people you don’t know, because, hey, that could be someone’s grandma, you know? And how would you feel if some stranger was rude to your grandma? However, it isn’t rude of me to ignore the crazy old lady who lives next door to me when she’s lying in the hall, moaning for help, because that’s just a game she likes to play. Update: The crazy old lady moved away and I miss her dearly.
Puppies I sort of regret that paragraph I wrote on dog run manners. I could’ve been a little more mature than that.
Questions It is good manners to say "There are no stupid questions" but in my life I have definitely heard at least one stupid question. I was on a tour of JPL in Southern California (it's pretty much the NASA of unmanned spacecraft) and we visited this fake Martian landscape where they had tested the Mars rover before sending it to, uhm, Mars and the dirt was all red and the rocks were all red and craggly, y'know, just like in the pictures of Mars and when our visit was opened up to questions this lady asked "How did you get all these rocks down from Mars?" That, dear reader, is a stupid question.
Really Late Being really late is like the worstest manners there are. What, you caught a bus or something? Oh, you were waiting for the subway? Ok, nevermind then.
Sushi The sushi chef takes great offense if you soak that sucker in the soy sauce because it is his fishy little work of art. Also, word is the pickled ginger isn’t a topping. Keep that in mind. And rubbing your chopsticks together to de-splinter them is rude because it’s a sign of stinginess, and who wants to look stingy on half-price sushi night? Update: Whoah. I forgot I had told you about the ginger before. Don't make me tell you again.
Television Everytime you watch something like “The Fabulous Life of . . .” or “E! True Hollywood Story” you are being rude to yourself because that is time taken from your life that you will never, ever get back, no matter how much you learn about the cast of Gilligan’s Island or the spending habits of Hillary Duff. However, watching "I Love the 90's" (or any of the "I Love . . ." series of programs) and "Best Week Ever" actually makes you smarter.
Unusual Smells If you notice an unusual smell in mixed company, don’t make a scene. It’s not polite.
Vampires Say what you will about Vampires, they have very good manners. They’re pretty much the only psychotic monsters that absolutely won’t come into your home unless invited. But once you have invited a vampire into your home, there’s not much accounting for their manners from that point on.
Walking In my notes I’ve indicated that I wanted to address the etiquette of walking. I cannot imagine what I had thought I should say about the walking manners. Uhm, don’t walk in weaving line down crowded sidewalks, maybe? Here’s another one: Wanting to Be a Writer. Make no more movies, plays, musicals, or books about people who want to be writers. I'm not having it any more. If you want to be a writer, that's great, but don't make me watch a movie, play, musical or read a book about your desire to be writer. Update: If there was anything wrong with the Devil Wears Prada, it was that the fat, smart girl wanted to be a writer.
X-Men Dear Makers of X-Men (the Comic Book): The reason I quit reading your comic in the 90’s is because you kept reforming the team every fourteen months. That was bad manners. I started reading Uncanny X-Men just in time to catch the Mutant Massacre story arc back in 1986 or 87, and I kept reading for the next seven years waiting for the team to completely recover from the beating they took from the Marauders and then I finally got it: the X-Men I knew weren’t going to get back together, you just wanted to keep coming up with new lineups and costumes and STUPID characters like Bishop. Update: And the reason I started reading you again was Astonishing X-Men! So awesome!
Yoga It’s not polite to stare, but if one of your law school classmates does yoga poses like this one in the hall during breaks, that’s your freebie right there. Update: Turns out she graduated at the top of the class, so what do I know.
Zoning When NYU Law started building their (our?) new law school building and realized it’d block the sun from reaching the stained glass of a nearby church they built a giant box of light bulbs to simulate the sun for that window. That, my friends, is very good manners.
And if you were wondering, yes, this was my special post I mentioned earlier that I was working on. I know, I know, you probably expected lots of photos or something. And since there's been some questions, yes, I came up with this whole post on my own, to have taken other people's ideas without giving them a shout out, that'd be bad manners.
Original Post
As you may or may not know, I am in Chicago right now and I am studying for the bar. I am also having teeny tiny adventures and sometimes take photos, but for the time being, Steady Mobbin' is almost on hiatus. Today I am posting a post that originally appeared on January 20, 2005. It is a list of good manners that I wrote and people seemed to like it back then. My readership has really changed in the last year and a half and many of might never have read this, so I am reposting it for everyone's enjoyment or rejoyment. Also, I have slipped in some changes because some of this stuff needs to be changed (and that way there's something new for everyone.)
Repost Begins NOW
As you may know, if you are my mother or a close friend, I am nuts about manners. Etiquette books captivate me. I'm pretty much walking around the time, thinking about good behavior (if only I could act on this fascination . . . but that's another post altogether.) Anyway, a week ago the Meddler wrote a post on the importance of good manners and it just set my manners brain on fire and I've been thinking about etiquette extra hard for the last week and I've finally come up with this, the Steady Mobbin' A to Z of Brilliantly Great Behavior. You might think this is a big joke, but I'm totally serious, and you may think this is a big rip off of something you may have seen in Vice once, but I'd rather you not dwell on that.
THE STEADY MOBBIN' A TO ZED OF BRILLIANTLY GREAT BEHAVIOR
Apartments One of the first things I learned about Manhattan manners is that it is not rude to ask people what kind of square footage they’ve got or what sort of rent they’re paying. It’s pretty much how one says hello to someone they’ve just met out here. Update: So important! This rule of etiquette only applies when comparing like apartments . . . for example, if you live in a studio in the West Village and are visiting friends with a two bedroom in the East Village that seems only a little bigger than your studio apartment, you're totally expected to ask how big their apartment is and then to (tastefully) ask what kind of rent they pay. When you discover that you've been invited over to someone's apartment and it's twice as big and luxurious as any apartment you've ever visited sure you can ask what the square footage is (because maybe there's another room that you didn't even notice?) but you totally can't ask what they pay. Duh.
Busses If it’s the early evening and you’re supposed to meet up with a friend, it is very bad manners to take the M14 bus because it will take forever and you will be late. “I had to wait forever for the subway” is always an acceptable excuse for tardiness, “I was on the bus forever” is never an acceptable excuse because we all know it was really sloppy for you to think you could take a bus in the first place.
Car Door It has always been my manners fantasy to get to open the car door for someone who was getting out of a car.
Dog Runs The signs at the dog runs always say that you aren’t supposed to bring your dog to the dog run if it is in heat, and this always cracks me up, because I’m not very mature . . . especially if you were also going to break the rule about bringing a big dog into the small dogs dog run (but I suppose it’d be more funny if you were to bring a little dog to the big dog dog run, but I’m going to far.) Also, the signs at the dog runs also say you aren’t supposed to pick up your dog, because an exposed dog belly is a sign of weakness and invites attack. Sorry Kelsi.
Elvis Costello I’m sure Elvis Costello really appreciates how discreet I am about how he lives in the same apartment building as me and how I may give him good, long stares whenever I see him in the lobby but never get all up in his grill. But should we ever wind up in the same elevator, whoah boy, he’ll be getting an earful. (Note to Self: learn something about Elvis Costello’s music) Update: You should see how Elvis acts on the elevator. He's always looking at something on his cellphone and he holds it really close to himself and doesn't look up. If he's getting onto a crowded elevator he never asks someone to get his floor, he just reaches past everyone and hits the button. Come on Elvis, be a friendly neighbor.
Friends It isn’t polite to tell your friends if they’re doing something that’s bad manners, which is a crying shame, because you’re a real pig sometimes.
Garbage Room I say it isn’t rude to take your neighbors old magazines that they’ve put in the garbage room recycling bins home for your own perusal, but I’m not sure what they’d think. Also, it is very good manners that if you’re leaving a defective appliance at the curb to be taken away to leave a little sign on it like “Danger! This Lamp is Dangerous!” because you know somebody is going to see your old lamp and want to take it home. Update: Sometimes you go for months without finding any good magazines in the garbage room, but you do find two bookshelves and a dresser.
Helping People Move If someone helps you move, you pretty much owe them, or someone else who comes along in the great chain of moving karma, help moving—or you at least owe it to yourself to have a really, really good excuse as to why you can’t help them move (besides “I’m sorry, I really hate moving—that’s why I had you help me that first time, you know” even though if honesty truly equals goodness it would be the best excuse in the world.)
Ice Cream It was rude of me to eat an ice cream cone in front of you because I always make the biggest mess. I’m realizing that the cup is no longer a sign of weakness or lack of fancifulness but a statement I shouldn’t be afraid to make, “Yes, I Wind Up Sticky When I Get a Sugar Cone.”
Jokes Everyone loves jokes, if they’re appropriate. If you think of a funny joke, but it’s inappropriate, then you shouldn’t tell it. But if you think of a funny joke, and it’s really, really inappropriate, then you should definitely tell it. Works for me, at least.
Karate Chops If your friend is practicing his karate chops, it would be rude of you not hold a wooden board for him to chop—but if he’s practicing his flying karate kicks, it’s okay to say you’d rather not hold the board in front of yourself for him, because he’s probably going to go flying right through it and into you.
Love If you love a new TV show, it’d be rude of you not to start a website or bulletin board about how much you love that new show, especially if it’s a reality show.
Mala Educacion Pedro Almodovar’s new movie is called “Mala Educacion”, and all the signs in English call it “Bad Education”, but, in Spanish, to say someone’s got a “mala educacion” is to say they’ve got bad manners. No wonder everyone is giving this movie four stars, it’s probably a totally awesome Spanish movie about the importance of manners. For cross-dressers. Update: Once Elder Rivera told me that it was mala educacion for me to tell him that he had something (wax) hanging out of his ear while we were talking to the girl in the little store and I pretended like I didn't know that. Oh! You know what is really mala educacion in Mexico? Making noises with your straw as you finish a beverage! All the things I saw in that country and that's the one that was rude!
Nerf Weaponry Even though your Nerf sword is soft that doesn’t make it okay to hit people with it whenever you want. (Especially if those people are old.)
Old People You should always be nice to old people, especially old people you don’t know, because, hey, that could be someone’s grandma, you know? And how would you feel if some stranger was rude to your grandma? However, it isn’t rude of me to ignore the crazy old lady who lives next door to me when she’s lying in the hall, moaning for help, because that’s just a game she likes to play. Update: The crazy old lady moved away and I miss her dearly.
Puppies I sort of regret that paragraph I wrote on dog run manners. I could’ve been a little more mature than that.
Questions It is good manners to say "There are no stupid questions" but in my life I have definitely heard at least one stupid question. I was on a tour of JPL in Southern California (it's pretty much the NASA of unmanned spacecraft) and we visited this fake Martian landscape where they had tested the Mars rover before sending it to, uhm, Mars and the dirt was all red and the rocks were all red and craggly, y'know, just like in the pictures of Mars and when our visit was opened up to questions this lady asked "How did you get all these rocks down from Mars?" That, dear reader, is a stupid question.
Really Late Being really late is like the worstest manners there are. What, you caught a bus or something? Oh, you were waiting for the subway? Ok, nevermind then.
Sushi The sushi chef takes great offense if you soak that sucker in the soy sauce because it is his fishy little work of art. Also, word is the pickled ginger isn’t a topping. Keep that in mind. And rubbing your chopsticks together to de-splinter them is rude because it’s a sign of stinginess, and who wants to look stingy on half-price sushi night? Update: Whoah. I forgot I had told you about the ginger before. Don't make me tell you again.
Television Everytime you watch something like “The Fabulous Life of . . .” or “E! True Hollywood Story” you are being rude to yourself because that is time taken from your life that you will never, ever get back, no matter how much you learn about the cast of Gilligan’s Island or the spending habits of Hillary Duff. However, watching "I Love the 90's" (or any of the "I Love . . ." series of programs) and "Best Week Ever" actually makes you smarter.
Unusual Smells If you notice an unusual smell in mixed company, don’t make a scene. It’s not polite.
Vampires Say what you will about Vampires, they have very good manners. They’re pretty much the only psychotic monsters that absolutely won’t come into your home unless invited. But once you have invited a vampire into your home, there’s not much accounting for their manners from that point on.
Walking In my notes I’ve indicated that I wanted to address the etiquette of walking. I cannot imagine what I had thought I should say about the walking manners. Uhm, don’t walk in weaving line down crowded sidewalks, maybe? Here’s another one: Wanting to Be a Writer. Make no more movies, plays, musicals, or books about people who want to be writers. I'm not having it any more. If you want to be a writer, that's great, but don't make me watch a movie, play, musical or read a book about your desire to be writer. Update: If there was anything wrong with the Devil Wears Prada, it was that the fat, smart girl wanted to be a writer.
X-Men Dear Makers of X-Men (the Comic Book): The reason I quit reading your comic in the 90’s is because you kept reforming the team every fourteen months. That was bad manners. I started reading Uncanny X-Men just in time to catch the Mutant Massacre story arc back in 1986 or 87, and I kept reading for the next seven years waiting for the team to completely recover from the beating they took from the Marauders and then I finally got it: the X-Men I knew weren’t going to get back together, you just wanted to keep coming up with new lineups and costumes and STUPID characters like Bishop. Update: And the reason I started reading you again was Astonishing X-Men! So awesome!
Yoga It’s not polite to stare, but if one of your law school classmates does yoga poses like this one in the hall during breaks, that’s your freebie right there. Update: Turns out she graduated at the top of the class, so what do I know.
Zoning When NYU Law started building their (our?) new law school building and realized it’d block the sun from reaching the stained glass of a nearby church they built a giant box of light bulbs to simulate the sun for that window. That, my friends, is very good manners.
And if you were wondering, yes, this was my special post I mentioned earlier that I was working on. I know, I know, you probably expected lots of photos or something. And since there's been some questions, yes, I came up with this whole post on my own, to have taken other people's ideas without giving them a shout out, that'd be bad manners.
Original Post
Thursday, July 13, 2006
Best Introspection Invented By Me
At home in Chicago . . .
Today I looked at our cat, curled up in the basement, and wondered if he ever thinks to himself "I have done nothing with my life."
Today I looked at our cat, curled up in the basement, and wondered if he ever thinks to himself "I have done nothing with my life."
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
Best Airing of Grievances (Mine)
(this is the new sculpture that's up at Lincoln Center and I'm not mad at it, I'm just using it for to have something to look at the top of this post)
Artistic types, learn to spell! It matters!
White girls, stop topping your sushi with the ginger! That's not its job!
For the time being, this is all the complaining that I have.
Artistic types, learn to spell! It matters!
White girls, stop topping your sushi with the ginger! That's not its job!
For the time being, this is all the complaining that I have.
Best Movie of the Week!!
Hey! Hey! Listen! Listen! This is important!
I just saw this great movie (for free)! It was called "Monster House" and it was about a house that . . . (wait for it) . . . is a MONSTER!! It was a totally great movie and I saw it in 3-D!
I think the movie is set in the 80s but I can't tell for sure. It has a kid just like Chunk in it, but he was called Chowder. And the hero was just like Hogarth Hughes! And also there were: policemen (one was a rookie), a mom and a dad (Fred Willard was the Dad!), a babysitter, Napoleon Dynamite, an old man, a little girl, another girl, a dog . . . the cast goes on and on! And there was an arcade game called "Thou Art Dead." That was the best!
When I first heard there was going to be a computer animated movie about a haunted house I was like "Oh great" and expected a movie where there's a haunted house and the mummy has Chris Tucker's voice and the Dracula has Steve Carrell's voice and the girl werewolf has Mischa Barton's voice BUT this isn't that kind of movie! It was like Goonies or something. But with a house, not a cave. And, dude, seriously, this movie had the most exciting ending since the Death Star trench, I kid you not!
See Monster House!! It comes out at the end of the month, or something.
I just saw this great movie (for free)! It was called "Monster House" and it was about a house that . . . (wait for it) . . . is a MONSTER!! It was a totally great movie and I saw it in 3-D!
I think the movie is set in the 80s but I can't tell for sure. It has a kid just like Chunk in it, but he was called Chowder. And the hero was just like Hogarth Hughes! And also there were: policemen (one was a rookie), a mom and a dad (Fred Willard was the Dad!), a babysitter, Napoleon Dynamite, an old man, a little girl, another girl, a dog . . . the cast goes on and on! And there was an arcade game called "Thou Art Dead." That was the best!
When I first heard there was going to be a computer animated movie about a haunted house I was like "Oh great" and expected a movie where there's a haunted house and the mummy has Chris Tucker's voice and the Dracula has Steve Carrell's voice and the girl werewolf has Mischa Barton's voice BUT this isn't that kind of movie! It was like Goonies or something. But with a house, not a cave. And, dude, seriously, this movie had the most exciting ending since the Death Star trench, I kid you not!
See Monster House!! It comes out at the end of the month, or something.
Monday, July 10, 2006
Best Movie of the Weekend
Uhm, that would have to be Uptown Girls starring Brittany Murphy and Dakota Fanning, which was on Saturday night on the Family Channel, because I didn't see any other movies this weekend. I will not say that Uptown Girls was good, but I did have it on for an hour after I saw that Murphy lived in the Ansonia Hotel, a building which I'm fascinated with (but only mildly.) Don't be fooled by it's Frenchy-looks, it isn't as classy a building as you might guess. Maybe someday I'll write a report on it. Maybe.
Immediate Update: I forgot. This weekend I discovered that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs had made a video for "Turn Into", one of my favorite songs from "Show Your Bones" (this is what I had to say about Show Your Bones when I first got my hands on it, I still like it plenty). I feel that this video, while remaining relatively lowkey and non-flashy, really excels as a videographic representation of the feel of the song. That's what I think. Video here.
Immediate Update: I forgot. This weekend I discovered that the Yeah Yeah Yeahs had made a video for "Turn Into", one of my favorite songs from "Show Your Bones" (this is what I had to say about Show Your Bones when I first got my hands on it, I still like it plenty). I feel that this video, while remaining relatively lowkey and non-flashy, really excels as a videographic representation of the feel of the song. That's what I think. Video here.
Friday, July 07, 2006
Best Forbidden Love at the Park
(Spied in Washington Square Park on Saturday. Real content coming . . . eventually.)
Thursday, July 06, 2006
Best Old-Timey News
Just when you were worried that New York wasn't crazy anymore, somebody goes on a powersaw rampage on a subway platform and it gets a little gory . . .
The Details (don't worry, it's just a newspaper article)
The Details (don't worry, it's just a newspaper article)
Best Discovery!! Best Discovery!! Big News!!
BRILLIANT UPDATE!!!: Ryan Ricks fixed everything. A variety of smaller versions of the video are now available!
As the Man said himself in the comments:
small windows media - 4MB
http://www.davesmotors.com/files/ryantemp/briggie.wmv
slightly larger windows media - 9MB
http://www.davesmotors.com/files/ryantemp/briggiebetteraudio.wmv
realmedia - 9 MB
http://www.davesmotors.com/files/ryantemp/briggierealmedia.rm
mpeg - 23 MB
http://www.davesmotors.com/files/ryantemp/briggiempeg.mpg
I was clicking around on the internet and discovered that Lexia has posted a 77mb version of "Personal Best" (a.k.a. "The Video Where Brigham Holds His Breath From So Long Ago") This is a lot more manageable than the multiple-gigabyte version I have on my computer. Anyway. No more talking!
CLICK HERE to see the totally amazing movie experience you've been dying to see!
(It's a direct link so you can right click or option click to save it to your computer)
Gracias, Lexia.
As the Man said himself in the comments:
small windows media - 4MB
http://www.davesmotors.com/files/ryantemp/briggie.wmv
slightly larger windows media - 9MB
http://www.davesmotors.com/files/ryantemp/briggiebetteraudio.wmv
realmedia - 9 MB
http://www.davesmotors.com/files/ryantemp/briggierealmedia.rm
mpeg - 23 MB
http://www.davesmotors.com/files/ryantemp/briggiempeg.mpg
I was clicking around on the internet and discovered that Lexia has posted a 77mb version of "Personal Best" (a.k.a. "The Video Where Brigham Holds His Breath From So Long Ago") This is a lot more manageable than the multiple-gigabyte version I have on my computer. Anyway. No more talking!
(It's a direct link so you can right click or option click to save it to your computer)
Gracias, Lexia.
Wednesday, July 05, 2006
Best Movie of the Summer (Until this Weekend, At Least)
This is going to be a very positive review of Superman Returns until I get distracted and complain about people who are determined to dislike Superman and Star Wars. I'm telling you that right now so you can decide if you want to read it or not. And the picture I posted above has nothing to do with Superman Returns, I just felt that my blog had been without anything to look at lately.
Anyway, I bought tickets for last Friday's 3-D IMAX Superman weeks ago, and ever since I bought them, I was thinking less and less about Superman and almost not even caring about the movie. On Friday I spent 7 hrs. taking a simulated Bar exam (I scored a few points below the target score, and I'm okay with that because the test gave me lots of reasons to be optimistic about my final official Bar performance) and it left me feeling really beat up and not at all thinking about Superman.
(I'll spare you the step-by-step story of me getting to the movie theater and eating a hotdog before the movie and picking up my 3D glasses if that's what you thought you were about to get)
I cannot explain it, but the second Superman Returns began I was absolutely transfixed. I could not take my eyes off the screen. It was a feeling that I don't think I've had in probably more than 20 years. For some reason, I loved this movie more than I could have ever imagined, and now that I'm writing this little report, I cannot muster the reason for it. Mostly what I do know is that I've talked to a number of happy people who really liked it, but then I talk to people and they're like, "Well . . . I really hated the plot and the pacing and the acting was so stiff and the this and the that and dumb dumb dumb Superman movie." And I think, "I don't know what you're talking about." Perhaps I'm being troublesome, but why do people need to dislike Superman or the Star Wars prequels? Where's the benefit in that, what are you getting out of sitting around with your friends talking about how you could have made them better. You really could have made a better Star Wars movie or Superman movie? That's funny, considering you took 6 years to finish college/work the night shift at a flower shop/live with your granduncle/study botany or whatever.
These movies are all so easy to like, and I feel like they're just presents that were made for us . . . I mean, on each one hundreds if not thousands of people worked for a long time at a price of hundreds of millions of dollars to make you a movie so you could have a little fun, why you gotta go watch it and be all gruesome about how it ruined your life and childhood? Don't you know about being a polite guest who just says "no thank you"?
Ahem.
Anyway.
Superman Returns, to me, was awesome and I dug every second of it . . . even the seconds where Lois Lane's hairline looked a little weird. The movie really made me think about Superman's feelings and Lex Luthor was really mean to Superman. I look forward to Pirates 2.
Footnotes:
Exempt from my rant: People who went into Superman Returns expecting a good time but unfortunately it just didn't click for them and they left disappointed and wishing they liked it more.
Not Exempt from My Rant: People that had that same experience with any of the Star Wars prequels.
Monday, July 03, 2006
Best I'm Blaming the Bar
That's what I blame everything on. And I don't think I'm being unreasonable.
This July 3rd I declare my independence from obsessing over my sitemeter.
This July 3rd I declare my independence from obsessing over my sitemeter.
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