Best Full-Price Movie of the Week

Recently I found out about a movie from Turkey that was made in 1973 without any regard to copyright or any of that called "3 Dev Adam" where Captain America and Lucha Libre hero Santo team up to fight a homicidal Spider-man and his clone henchmen who are on a killing rampage of some sorts . . . and Spider-Man's costume is red and green instead of blue and green and his bushy, Turkish eyebrows stick out of his costume's eye holes. I know, I know, it sounds like the most awesome, most top secret sort of thing in the world.

Except there is something more awesome and more top secret, and it's "The Saddest Music in the World" and it's playing in every major city of the United States. When movies were invented, this is the sort of thing they were invented to be. You want to go somewhere you've never been before and you'll never go to again? See the Saddest Music in the World. The less you know, the better, and it will trip you out. It was so great, I hope I never see it again.