Best Return of the Epicly Bro'd Weekend

Prologue

As I mentioned at the end of my last post, as I was graduating from Law School, I got a message from my buddy Andrew that he was coming to New York (that night.) As Andrew is a man of his word, around midnight he showed up and we celebrated with the traditional chilled mug of Stewart's Root Beer. (that's our tradition, chilled mugs of Stewart's Root Beer)




The next morning I had to swing by the chapel before our adventuring began. There Andrew got to meet my associates Elders Miller and Smith.


And then we hit up the West Side Market for sustenance, cuz Andrew and I had a serious walk ahead of us to get to the day's destination . . .


Saturday's Adventure!!

Our destination? THE INTREPID SEA, AIR, & SPACE MUSEUM!! What's the Intrepid Sea, Air, & Space Museum? It's a decommissioned aircraft carrier that you can look at with jets on it that you can look at . . . also, they have a submarine and a Concorde there! BUT the Intrepid is more than this, on the day that I first drove into New York I drove past the Intrepid and was dumbfounded and filled with a burning desire to visit it. I immediately imagining a sunny day in the future where I would visit the museum while wearing a skull t-shirt (that was the dream). You could say that visiting the Intrepid on a sunny day while wearing a skull t-shirt has been my greatest goal while living in New York (next to finishing law school).


This is a picture of what it looks like when dreams are coming true.


Andrew and I didn't mess around and went right to the Concorde.




Here I am, my last photo as a person who had never been in the Concorde before.


Turns out that the Concorde is really small! And the Intrepid people kept almost everything locked (the seats in the section you could walk through were enclosed in enormous plastic cases).


This means that when you go to see the Concorde at the Intrepid you go in, you look right, and then you walk through to your left, and it's little and it's cramped and you couldn't touch anything if you wanted to.


But, at the end, they let you see inside one of the lavatories.


And the cockpit, which seemed pretty serious, but could have used maybe a few more buttons and levers.


My first picture as a person who had been in (not on, that would imply some flying)a Concorde. I think it gets more exciting when they add the supersonic flying part.


Do not step there!


Tiny windows for a tiny airplane.


Next stop? A tour of the Growler Submarine!




If you couldn't guess, Andrew and I were the stragglers messing around at the back of the group.


Andrew's Dad worked on submarines for (Andrew thinks) 5 years chasing Russian subs, so Andrew was right at home aboard the Growler.


He couldn't help but act like a real show off


"Look at me, look at me, I know the proper way to go through the hatches" (that's my imitation of Andrew showing off on the Growler)


Our tour guide gave us all very specific instructions to NOT touch any of the buttons aboard the submarine.


Steering wheels aren't buttons.


Periscopes aren't buttons.


Levers aren't buttons.


Signs aren't buttons.


What's this? The submarine's ice cream maker. I'm not kidding. All of a sudden I doubt it's all that hard to live on a tiny little submarine sleeping on a tiny little bunk taking a shower for 3 minutes every 3 weeks.


Plus, games built into the tables.


Like a said, tiny little bunks.


About half way through the tour I was like, "Yeah, I could do this."


But I wasn't as good at going through the hatches as Andrew.


Like all good things, the tour eventually came to an end.


Torpedo tubes. Andrew and I aren't stupid, we didn't touch them.


Then we began our assault on the Intrepid itself. We saw a movie about the time it got hit by two kamikazes in World War II. (we also watched another movie about the history of the Intrepid that was shown inside of a movie theater onboard the ship, suddenly I don't see what the big is about working on an aircraft carrier, they have full-sized movie theaters with stadium seating, after all)


Then I climbed on a jet.


And looked at a missile.


And learned a little about the jokes Bob Hope told on the Intrepid ("Here we are on the Intrepid, a ship named in honor of Phylis Diller's makeup artist.")


Then we headed up to the Intrepid's deck.


It was SO sunny up there! It stung the eyes!


I hope you like pictures of airplanes and helicopters, because that's what you're getting!










Also on deck: An SR-71 Blackbird, the most feared jet of the cold war!


The sight that every Soviet soldier feared the most: Waking up in the morning to find an SR-71 staring them down as they stepped out of their tent!


So many childhood (and law school) dreams of seeing things were coming true that afternoon I had to sit down and contemplate the awesome for a bit.


Andrew points out that a missile is set to "safe." Oh good.


The final stop: The part of the aircraft carrier that is like a building!


With balconies!


We found ourselves in the part of the Intrepid where you boss the rest of the ship around from.


Or, if you're Andrew, look at the compass.


This is how you save a buddy who can't breathe: With a few elbows to the back.


The Intrepid: It tought the Japanese a thing or two. (They called it the "Ghost Ship" because it was supposed to be dead)



Epilogue

After the Intrepid we went to the Burger Joint. Because Andrew is good at eating at the Burger Joint (even though the burgers are definitely smaller now).


Something that we haven't had a chance to discuss at Steady Mobbin' yet: The Ridiculousness of the 5th Ave Abercrombie and Fitch.


Here's a do: Old men in jackets with pig patches on the back.