Best Hey Look What I Did

Q: Hey Brigham, what did you do?
A: I saw Young Frankenstein!
Q: Where did you sit when you saw it?
A: Row AA, Seat 114...that means a few seats right of center, front row.
Q: Wow! How'd that happen?
A: Kim won the tickets in the ticket lottery.
Q: So how much did those tickets cost, $450?
A: No, $26! Pretty cool, right?
Q: Actually, I'm not that impressed, I mean, that sort of thing happens to my friends all the time.
A: I know, I guess these Broadway ticket lottery tickets are pretty common. Still, it's blogworthy, isn't it?
Q: I suppose. Did you like the show?
A: Come on, this is a post about me getting tickets, not about the show I saw.
Q: No, really, what did you think?
A: Errr...I don't really get musicals most of the time. But it had Sutton Foster, that's always a plus. And Igor was good. And I like when there was a big Frankenstein puppet. And holy cow! Megan Mullally looked old like a grandma!
Q: Anything else to tell us?
A: I saw Mel Brooks' head, but there were lots of people around him.

Best Coming Soons

Movie Trailers! I haven't posted these in ages! But today I've got two that I want to say something about:

Get Smart

Now there's two Get Smart trailers, the second one seems to include everything that was really funny from the first, plus more funny stuff. So at least watch the second one. But the thing I really want to say is it looks like this will be a real fun movie, a total chuckle-fest.

Step Brothers

The tale of two adult enemies who become step-brothers and these adult enemies are played by Will Ferrell and John C. Reilly. Here's the deal: I'll skip Semi-Pro and see this one twice. This trailer was quite satisfying, it makes me wish the movie was adapted from a book so I could read the book right now and then go into the movie an expert.

Oh, and in other movie news, I didn't see Step Up, I doubt I'll see Step Up 2 The Streets, but I'm already in line for Step Up 3D.

Best Comic Strip

At Garfield Minus Garfield, Jim Davis' strip goes from worst in the world to best in the world. Dig through the archives and experience the eerie effectiveness of removing Garfield from the comic.

Best I Totally Knew It

From today's Hollywood Reporter...

On Tuesday, the NBC premiere of "quarterlife" marked the network's worst time-period performance in the 10 p.m. hour in at least 17 years, averaging a 1.3 rating/4 share among adults 18 to 49 and 3.1 million viewers overall despite a strong lead-in from "The Biggest Loser....Although no official cancellation has been announced, sources say the series will likely be yanked from the schedule before its second episode airs Sunday night.

Best My Friends and the Celebrities they Know

I got to talk to you about Broek and Diablo Cody, I got to talk to you about Mike and the Conchords.

1. Broek and Diablo Cody

Hey, remember Diablo Cody? You know, she won the Oscar for best Original Screenplay back in, uh, this year? Broek, our friend in LA, interviewed her for Anthem magazine and her interview has made me like Diablo Cody (before, I don't know, I was a little conflicted...some day I may address that).

Check it Out.

And while you're at it, make sure to take a look at Broek's Anthem profile. I want someone to write something like that about me some day.

2. Mike and Flight of the Conchords

Our friend Mike in New Zealand is friends with Bret and Jermaine from Flight of the Conchords and when I say he's friends with them I mean he's really friends with them, for example...

Remember in the Episode 6 ("Bowie") when Murray is trying to get the guys to pick a band photo and he's got this photo of a party and it turns out Bret and Jermaine aren't even in the picture?


Well that's Mike there in the lower left hand corner!


Ok. That's it. Only three new posts tonight. That's all you're getting.

Best Pasta of the Day

"Best Pasta of the Day?" you might ask "Surely you mean Best Pasta of the Week?" Nope. Best Pasta of the Day. I'm heeding Tai's counsel and only making as much pasta as I'll eat, Best Pasta of the Week is over, the age of Best Pasta of the Day has begun, no more forcing myself to eat leftover pasta for days and days.

Moving on, today for lunch I made myself a super-simple Pasta Carbonara. And listen, I know you noticed the egg yolk, I noticed the egg yolk, just hold on and we'll talk about the egg yolk.


For this meal I had to do something I had never done before: separate an egg. The hardest part about it was deciding what to do with my yolk while I was mixing the whites in with the pasta...I didn't have a bowl ready to place it in, and I couldn't get the shell to sit upright on its own for the few minutes so I wound up holding it in my left hand and finishing cooking the dish with my right. This lead to my whites and cheeses not getting mixed in with the spaghetti as well as I would have liked, but I learned so much!

Anyway, this is what my Carbonara entailed: two strips of bacon, roughly chopped, cooked very excellently, tossed my cooked spaghetti in the frying pan with the bacon and then the egg whites and a WHOLE lot of pecorino romano and some pasta water to keep it a little loose. Put it on a plate, added a little salt, a whole lot of pepper, and then topped it off with the egg yolk (which I then mixed in, because I'm not Rocky).

It was good. And kind of breakfasty.

Best Most Horrible Sounding Thing in the World

The description of the first episode of NBC's new show, Quarterlife:

Debut: A series following six creative twentysomethings as they build careers, relationships and friendships. In the opener, Dylan's video blog reveals secrets among her friends, including Lisa's fears and Jed's feelings for Debra. Elsewhere, a coworker steals Dylan's idea, and Jed and Danny shoot a commercial.

This thing will probably get canceled before its first commercial break.

This, however, I would watch. And by would, I mean am right now.

A creative, roller-skating client is ready to roll romantically by trying to find a love connection, as does an impeccably dressed man from New Jersey. But a recruiting session with a disparate group of women turns into a comedy of errors.

(that would be the latest episode of the Millionaire Matchmaker)

UPDATE

Whoah! Have you even heard of Parking Wars on A&E?! It's a reality show about meter maids and parking violations, here's a description of an episode:

A worker calls for help when he's unable to pacify a citizen; a man claims his car mistakenly received a boot; and a woman tries to use flirtation as a means of getting out of a fine.

Now there's a tv show. As long as people are coming up with programs like this I will NEVER watch anything about videobloggers alienating their friends.

ALSO, there's a documentary on Barracudas on Animal Planet right now but, guess what? I don't get Animal Planet. What? Geeze. There was this missionary in my MTC district, Elder Matthews, he was always talking about barracudas (actually, what he would say was "Barracudas, they're lightning fast. Lightning fast!) and now I can't watch a documentary about them? Come on!

Best Journey Into My Sleeping Mind II

Last night I had this dream that I had a bobcat.

Best "Hey, take my picture."

Best Here's Another One

"Yo mama is so smart, she didn't have to pay for college.

Best Maybe Now I'm Convinced

barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com

A few clicks in and I was starting to really like the guy.

I think we're standing on the verge of something new here: The reverse-dozens, where the subject is praised in escalating degrees of ridiculousness.

For example, "Yo mama is so nice, on your birthday she brought cupcakes for the whole school district!"

See what I'm saying? And I just invented that one, it took me no time at all.

"Yo mama is so rich, she payed for the college education of complete strangers and also bought laptop computers for a village of Guatemalans."

Cinchy.

Oh wait, try putting your head around this one:

"Yo mama is so poor yet selflessly kind to others that she inspired a reality show where a bunch of people built her a new house because really it couldn't have happened to a nicer person and now the whole construction crew is crying, along with your town's mayor...shoot, now even the banker that was going to foreclose on yo mama is crying now. Dang!"

I could go on and on!

(don't forget to go to barackobamaisyournewbicycle.com)

Best Journey Into My Sleeping Mind

Last night I had a dream that I was at the Harlem Chapel and both Gary Coleman and Emmanuel Lewis were there, seated separately with different groups of people, acting like they didn't know the other was there. Gary was acting surly, Emmanuel was giggling and laughing and having a great time.

I'm 100% sure my dream was caused by my watching news videos about Gary Coleman and his new wife, but those are too depressing to link to here.

Best This is What I Would Do

If I ran the Office and we were sticking to the plan to jump ahead and skip everything that happened while the Writers' Strike was happening, this is what I would do:

What I would do is produce the Dinner Party script from before the strike and have the episode set back in Fall of 2007. Into the the script I would insert a little subplot, maybe not even a subplot but a few comments that there was a rumor going around that the warehouse workers (all of the workers at all of the branches) looked like they were going to go on strike because they weren't allowed to unionize in the third season. Just rumblings, that's all.

Jump to the next episode, April 17 2008, turns out the workers DID go on strike and now the strike has finally ended and everyone is returning to work for the first time in months and months. Plot-points have been left on simmer, no major developments while we were away (unless my writers come up with some good twists. They need to get back to me on that).

That's what I would do if I ran the zoo.

Best Attachment of Yesterday

From an email from my Mom from yesterday...



On deck: Thomas S. Monson, Mary L. Condie, Frances Monson.

Hi Brig. Grandma sent a snap shot and I took a
picture of it. Elder Monson was the guest speaker on this BYU cruise.
Grandma Condie went with her buddies, the "Gray Panthers." I think Grandpa
called them that, they didn't use the term. Grandma Taylor says that
Grandma Condie reported that Pres. Monson was gracious and hospitable
to all the widows on the trip. He danced one dance with all of them.
Or at least that's Grandma Taylors' recollection of Gma C's memory of
the cruise. (And Grandma T is awfully good remembering details.)

A little interesting, right? I thought so. The woman in the back is my Great Grandma Condie (you may have figured that out from the email, if you read it). I used to drink Ovaltine at the foot of her bed while watching the Sound of Music. Also, the few Saturday mornings I spent at her house she was extremely strict in her interpretation of my Mom's "Only 3 Cartoons" rule. A rule which I took to mean I could watch 90 minutes of cartoons and she took to mean that if 3 Bugs Bunny shorts were played, then my cartoon watching time was over.

Also, from her I learned all my essential Old Testament stories and lots and lots of Pioneer stories. So many Pioneer stories!

And if you've ever heard me mention the book I wrote between BYU and NYU, that was the biography of her husband, James Ira Condie.

But mostly I just wanted to post that picture and supply more evidence of Pres. Monson's kindness towards widows.

Ok, that's it.

WAIT! One more thing: The Condies and the Monsons are distantly related, we share a common Pioneer ancestor, something I'm sure Grandma brought up as she and Elder Monson circled the ship's dance floor.

(Mom, just let me know if I said that sounds too irreverent)

Best "That's It, We're All Moving Back to Utah!"

Just learned something very important: In Lindon, Utah there is a place called "Jump On It!" that features 10,000 square feet of wall to wall trampolines and other bouncy surfaces and objects. Can you imagine? Joy at every footstep!

Check out their website.

Did you click the "See Inside" link? Ok, better do that. It's a short video of people playing inside of Jump On It!. Have you watched the video? Did you see the trampolines set on an angle against the wall? When I noticed those, that's when I bought my new house in Lindon.

But I know what you're thinking right now: Injuries. Another one of my favorite features of the website is that you can download their two-page liability waiver directly from it so you can arrive at Jump On It with all the messy legal work already taken cared of...ahem...having taken cared of all the messy legal work...crap...already took cared of...no...geeze. So that you can take care of the messy legal work before going to Jump On It. Told you I needed help with that.

Best Need of Grammar Help

Guys, what's the proper past tense of "take care of"?
I find myself saying "taken cared of" all the time and it just sounds really wrong.
"taken cared"...that can't possibly be right, can it?
But one can't say "I had that taken care of."
Wait!
Maybe we're supposed to say "I took care of that"?
I think I might be on to something.

Sheesh 2

They can't be serious about this picture.



"X-Men Origins: Wolverine"...will trace Wolverine's past as he discovers the world of mutants and, ultimately, the ominous Weapon X program which turns people into living weapons.

Wolverine's nemesis Sabretooth "is going to play a big part in it. And there will be a good bit of cameos" of new and familiar mutants Jackman says. He adds "But you can't give too much away, because fans are pretty hard-core. Their expectations go up a level every time you come out with a new film."

Snoozers.

Sheesh

It's over, guys.

Best You Deserve a Medal

Yes, I made five blog posts yesterday. You are correct.

Best Valentines is for New Love

I woke up this morning having never eaten a brussel sprout in my life, I go to bed tonight giddily anticipating my next rendezvous with these lovable little cabbages. Let me tell you a tale...


Our friend Jeff (B.) is a known brussel sprouts enthusiast and I knew this and a few weeks ago, whilst sifting through pasta recipes on the web, I came across a very provocative brussel sprouts recipe (for roasted brussel sprouts by Momofuku mastermind David Chang) so I forwarded it on to Jeff. Just as recently as the 13th of February I thought that story ended there.

But Amber sent out an email suggesting that a nice handful of us get together for a Valentines dinner, she and her roommates would be cooking up their famous alcoholic chicken. "Neat," I thought. "I'm getting dinner."

Soon after getting the invitation, Jeff emailed me asking if I wanted to make those Momofuku brussel sprouts with him for the dinner and even though I didn't really think I'd even be eating them sprouts I agreed because it seemed like a decent thing to do, provide a side for the party, and I felt good about being Jeff's teammate. (For the record, Jeff hadn't tried this recipe yet. We were to be taking a risk.)

Jeff assigned me the responsibility of preparing the dressing for the sprouts, he'd do the roasting. This was the dressing: 1/4 cup water, 1/4 sugar, 1/4 cup fish sauce (so now I own fish sauce), 3 tbs finely chopped mint, 2 tbs finely chopped cilantro, minced garlic clove (I used a big clove the size of 2 or 3 small cloves), and a sliced up serano pepper (the recipe called for an Asian pepper, but at New York grocery stores you take what you can get). I actually prepared the dressing at my house while Jeff roasted at his and we were to meet up and join elements at Amber and Erin's apartment.

I'll tell you now this dressing did not seem like a good thing at first. (maybe don't read this next sentence) The first time I sampled the finished product I felt like it was going to cause me to have a spontaneous bowel movement. But I packed up my dressing and my hopes and headed down to Gold street.

At the apartment Jeff unveiled to me a bowl full of the most charmingly aromatic little green foods I had ever seen or smelt and I began to dare to think that our side might be something awesome. With a generous touch of hesitance I dipped one of the darling sprouts into my dressing, praying that the flavors of my end of the project had combined into something awesome during my ride down on the 2/3.

I popped it into my mouth...

Several time zones away on a frozen, frigid hillside, thousands of brilliant spring blossoms burst from the hard earth with the noise of a cork loosed from a bottle of wine.

Around the earth, and unbeknownst to each other, hundreds of giggling babies simultaneously took their first uneasy steps across well-carpeted living room floors towards smiling parents, clapping and leading them on.

Deep within the Dark Continent, the Chiefs of two rival cannibal tribes shook hands over an historic peace agreement.

A 9 year old boy beat his first Metroid game

And I, I ate the most frickin' delicious thing I had ever 1/2 made by meticulously following someone else's recipe with my own two hands .

Jeff and I, we had a winner.

And I forgot to mention that you top these brussel sprouts with seasoned rice crispies. I don't know if your brain can even handle that. (but it might clear up some questions you had from my photo of the sprouts)

The diners were called to dinner, plates were passed about, chops were licked, conversations were had, jokes told, glasses filled and refilled. It was excellent.

Let's get this wrapped up:

Here's Jeff taking sampling his first brussel sprout at dinner. From this photo we can see (at least) two things:

1. He has JUST put the sprout in his mouth
2. His mouth JUST fired off every single one of its deliciousness receptors.


And here, for the record, is many of the dinner party being regaled by Erin, bellies happily full of chicken, salad, and sprouts.


Hurrah for brussel sprouts! Hurrah, hurrah, hurrah forever!

Best What Could Have Been

Check these out, totally awesome, right?






Found them in this blog post of rejected designs by a guy who worked with a company designing Star Wars merchandise. Go check that post out for more awesome things that we'll never be able to buy. Ever. Grrr.

Best Indy Film Since Juno?*

You've seen the new Indiana Jones trailer by now, right?

Looking forward to May 22.

*May or may not reflect my actual opinion on that movie, but a joke had to be made.

Best Gathering In Ages

How long has it been since the last Guitar Hero post? SO LONG! That's because it's been so long since my last Guitar Hero gathering. At the demands of many, it was my pleasure to have a little get together Tuesday night. There was rockin', that's for sure.

Newcomer Jessica and Collin. (please note Brooke and her trademark post-swim Chipotle burrito in the background)


Dave, Amber, and Me (I was operating under the mistaken assumption that I was posing for my kindergarten class photo)


An outtake from the same session


Peter Chen was in the house and something awesome I learned was that if you invite Peter over for Guitar Hero he'll order you a Japanese robot. (More on this very important development in a few weeks, I hope)


Gabe and Karlos. I wish I had a picture of all the pizza Gabe bought. You wouldn't believe the piles and piles of pizza we had.


Dave and Collin, but I posted this photo so everyone would know that Kristi was there


You might think it looks like there were just 5 people over, but really there were more. Please believe me.

Best Peak Snuck

Do you know who is tiny? Tina Fey, I saw her last night and didn't recognize her at first because she's so much shorter and littler in person than I ever would have imagined (the internet says she's 5'4", but I've seen 5'4" people that looked taller.) Do you know who is just as little as I expected? Amy Poehler, who I also saw last night and seems to be the 5'2" the internet says she is. Where did I see these ladies at? Why, at a sneak preview for Baby Mama, Ms. Fey's new movie. (What I mean to be saying here is that these two were actually at the theater, not that I saw them on the screeen. Realized I needed to clear that up, lest I look foolish)

This is the trailer, which I only watched half of before seeing the movie:



As you can see (if you chose to watch the video), it's a movie about Tina Fey, who plays a successful vice-president for a Whole Foodsy store called "Round Earth" wanting to have a baby and hiring Amy Poehler, playing a white trashy spazz not too different from the characters she throws herself into on SNL, as a surrogate. Zany situations and heartfelt(ish) moments ensue. The good news about the movie is I laughed pretty much the whole time, my laughter may not have boiled above a simmer of a giggle too often, but I was smiling and amused. Now that its been some hours since the movie ended I've started to wonder about certain plot points that were brought up a little but weren't fully addressed or certain characters that were underused, but I don't think the point of Baby Mama is for it to hold up under much scrutiny. It's not as tight as Mean Girls, but it was funny and how many movies are you going to see where Steve Martin hams it up as a supporting character? (and actually his character, the President of Fey's company, is one of the best things about this movie, "I'm going to reward you with 5 minutes of uninterrupted eye contact.")

Also, given the subject matter (37 year-old wanting to have a baby) there's lots of jokes and situations in the movie that infertility specialists might find funny...or maybe completely lame and played out? I guess I'll just have to find an infertility doctor and ask him or her after he or she sees the movie.

Enough is enough. Baby Mama comes out April 25 (pretty much exactly 4 years after the release of Mean Girls [it's easy to remember this stuff when it happens around your birthday] and also one week before the cavalcade of this summer's super awesome blockbusters* begins) and I cannot say that I don't recommend it but don't anticipated paying to see it myself.


*The Cavalcade of This Summer's Super Awesome Blockbusters is:

May 2: Iron Man
May 9: Speed Racer
May 16: Chronicles of Narnia (could take it or leave it myself)
May 22: Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (trailer premieres this morning on Good Morning America, by the way)
June 13: The Incredible Hulk (since they've been advertising Iron Man for months I have to wonder where the Hulk ads have been hiding)
June 27: Wall-E
July 2: Hancock
July 11: Hellboy 2
July 18: Dark Knight

Best Mark Your Calendars

The Office returns April 10th with a new episode called "Dinner Party." The buzz during the strike was that this one was to be a classic.

It has been previously mentioned that 6 new episodes will be produced for the season and that mastermind Greg Daniels says he's "tempted to leap ahead to where we would have been." A Christmas script had been under production but will not be produced.

These are all things that were in the New York Times, which is a newspaper.

PS The first show to "return" will probably be Saturday Night Live on February 23 hosted by Tina Fey.

Best You Don't Have to Suffer

It might not look like much, but I made myself an absolutely genius dinner.


What we have here are fresh green beans and a pork chop topped with chipotle butter, but it's more delicious than just that. The pork chop I rubbed down with olive oil, salt, and pepper and I tried to sear that into a decent little crust before tossing it into the oven to pan roast for a bit as the chop was a little thick. The butter is just butter with chopped up chipotle peppers and adobo sauce mixed up in it. Although I used two big peppers and lots of sauce it wasn't hardly spicy at all, but the flavor went well with the meat. BUT what's really important are the beans. First I simmered them like you normally would, but after the pork chop was done I sautéed them for a little bit in the pork drippings that were left in the pan with some butter (butter, butter, butter...plenty of butter in this meal). The result? Tasty dinner for one, total cost: probably barely $4. This argument that we've been making that it's cheaper to eat out than cook for yourself in Manhattan is slowly collapsing for me.

Stay tuned for when I have pasta with anchovies in the sauce later this week, just like Anonymous told me to.

WHAT?!!

12:30pm:

Oh, Nevermind

4:30pm:


Facebook, quit messing with me.

Best Last Weekend, pt. 2

More adventures of me taking pictures in Utah continue NOW!


Not only did my trip to Utah for Grandma's birthday coincide with President Hinckley's funeral, but I was also able to go to Liesel and Adam's wedding reception. It was the best reception I've been to in ages!


Family time ran over a bit so I barely got to the reception in time for the toasts, but they were such wonderful toasts, everyone seemed happy, except for Rebekah, because she couldn't understand her camera.


See, here's Mr. & Mrs. Sparhawk. Doesn't everyone look happy? These smiles aren't fake, we were all having a great time.


I was fortunate to be seated at the table for New Yorkers and ex-New Yorkers. Here's Natalie. You all remember Natalie, don't you?


Here's Rebekah, cutting up some prime rib and getting her daily good turn taken cared of.


Here's me and three members of the Blakesely family. Did you know I've been to two different Mexican restaurants with Amber's mom? It's true. I have. And one with her dad.


Here's Sara, sister of the groom, and a brother of the groom I didn't even know about until that night.


I never saw Rebekah again after this picture because I had to go away and be a ship's captain or something.


And here's sister of the bride Erin and Scott.


Sunday family business was wrapped up with one last cake and party for Grandma.


The article read, "Don't bother."


The perfect present for the 80 year old who has everything? A digital picture frame full of photos from across the decades. Very good move, Uncle Greg.


The Edwards have this new cat. It's an absolute troublemaker.


In case you forgot, that Sunday was the Superbowl. I watched the game at about four different places, winding up at Erin's Aunt and Uncle's house with Erin and (drum roll...) Don!!


¡Amigos!


Monday Grandma was too busy to hang out, so I had to do stuff on my own like go to Del Taco because I LOVE DEL TACO.


To be unwrapped: two crispy beef tacos, two chicken soft tacos, one tostada (total cost: under $4.50)


Disney licensing is getting too greedy.


Then that afternoon I went to Cheryl's because we had a secret mission to undertake.


This sign was inside her building, I found it both funny and useful (and, no duh Sherlock, this picture was taken at a later time then these other ones).


Icicles, everywhere! Deadly dangerous icicles everywhere!


On the road...


Zooming past SLC landmarks...



And arriving at our Top Secret Destination.


Again, icicles having their way with everything.


No one was home, but our secret goal ("the bag") was obtained.


Good thing Cowboy was locked up because he sounded like a vicious guardian of the home.


We celebrated a successful secret mission with some Utah delicacies, me, I just wanted a proper corn dog and some fry sauce


Cheryl feels about cheese fries the way I feel about corn dogs.


Then Monday night something absolutely tremendous happened. Some super big email coincidences lead to a London mini-reunion of sorts starring McKay (he did NOT go to London with us, but he's got connections), Karisa, Heather...


and Matt, Andrew, and Me. We met at a Cafe Rio, devoured enchiladas and salads, and then went over to Heather and Jim's for further conversation.


Andrew spent the night at Grandma's and the next morning we stumbled upon the house record collection.


Uncle Greg had just been talking about this Evel Knievel record that weekend.


If you've got the time and the eye sight, I recommend trying to read the lyrics to "Why" by Mr. Knievel.


Zoinks!


Then we got a little breakfast (it doesn't look like much, but was actually pretty good) and then Andrew had to head back to Logan to make some bread (literally and figurativley, hardy harhar.)


Andrew's fork gave him problems.


Grandma disappeared for a while that afternoon and I was like "Man, what happened to Grandma?!" but then she showed up and I was like "Well, duh! She was doing her civic duty!"


We went downtown and had a late lunch at Z'Tejas. Bad news, guys. Z'Tejas is still delicious, but they took their catfish fritters off the menu. Z'Tejas is dead to me now.




But good news, guys. Grandma has a new cat, Benny/Sofi/Kelsi, and she haz activated lazurs!


Then the clock started ticking swiftly on my Utah trip. Cars returned, goodbyes were uttered and a final meal was eaten at, where else, the Red Iguana. Because I needed needed needed some exotic moles.