Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Best Plea for Help

help, help! there is a disaster. I am sooo hungry. I bought nearly $40 worth of groceries today and nearly ate all of them this evening and I'm still h u n g r y. (Actually, $32 worth of groceries if I take out the laundry detergent). Why am I so hungry? Do I have a tapeworm? I need to buy a new toaster first thing tomorrow morning so I can eat BLTs all day long. Or is there a good and safe way to make toast in the oven or on the stove? Grumble. That's my stomach at 2:31 am. I will give a prize to anyone that can help me think of a way to not be hungry all the time . . . I eat and then I want to eat more . . . I'm locked in a mortal battle between what to eat, studying, and sleep and when those guys battle it out, you're only going to be a loser. I must have a tapeworm. I bet I got it from Nacho Libre, that's how authentically that movie portrayed the Mexico experience.

Things I ate today: minestrone soup, salad I made myself (not from a bag!), an almond joy, many glasses of white grape peach juice, nearly an entire big box of Tyson's chicken nuggets covered in hot sauce and dunked in blue cheese dressing, a whole shrimp cocktail ring, two cookies, so many glasses of milk, many slices of cheese set atop wheat crackers or triscuits, some caramel Hershey's kisses, one miniature reese's peanut butter cup. Obviously we're dealing with a lot of bad nutrition here, but shouldn't I be not hungry anymore?

14 comments:

erin t.s. said...

freakin'A Brigham...that's a lotta food. If you were a girl you would have a 'sweet spirit' by now but since you're a guy I guess you're still just handsome like always.

Tannerama said...

anyone see that movie "Slither"?

JayMoo and Stephoin said...

I wish I had seen Slither.

Brigham, Dannon is coming out with a new yogurt that curbs craving this fall. I think it might be the answer. I mean, these are the makers of Activia...the yogurt that makes you poop.

Cindy said...

I ate an Almond Joy yesterday too! We must be living parallel lives, just like me and Erin.

Lexia said...

Sometimes people mistakingly think they're hungry when really their body is simply dehydrated. It's mad hot, so you probably just need to drink more fluids.

Broek said...

Here Here to the dehydration.

Also, eat foods with good fats, whole wheat bread, and protein. If you eat a sandwich with turkey or chicken on whole wheat bread with avocado that should help. Also eat nuts, like almonds and cashews or whatever sort of nuts you like. Those help fill you.

bets said...

Best post ever.

bex said...

i always thought that nutritious foods and junk foods go to different parts of your body. so that even when you are full of healthy stuff, there is always room for dessert. your problem is that you are eating a little bit of everything, and so nothing is getting full.

also, if you are going to make BLTs, i suggest that you cook the bacon in the over. Delish.

marshall p said...

you can cook the bacon in the microwave. (little known fact.)sadly, you cannot cook bread in the microwave. (sorry to the makers of those weird microwave sandwiches... you have been mislead.)

2. uh, eating a lot of sugar (like juice and candy) can actually increase your hungriness because it messes with your insulin levels and stuff. drink water instead of juice and listen to that lexia and her friend broek. those girls seem smart. despite the porn names.

maybe you need to eat an egg. they are a perfect protien. or a sammich with beans and hotdogs, together at last together forever.

love,
marshall p

Anonymous said...

I keep getting emails about Hoodia. Maybe you should get some. They promise me amazing weight loss and fullness.

Smash said...

Clueless flashback.

"I feel like such a heifer. I had two bowls of special K, three pieces of turkey bacon, a piece of licorice, and like, 5 peanut butter M&M's"

Hey, It's Ansley said...

Be careful with those BLTs. I recently had a patient who made one extra-toasty and didn't chew well. It tore open his throat and the x-rays showed the L & T parts sitting on his lungs.

fletcher said...

hey, how was nacho libre? I am stuck in azerbaijan without a single nacho libre viewing possibility. I was reading that the critics say it is teh suxxor.
say it isn't so.

Mike said...

Here's an experiment: Just before you brush your teeth and go to bed, eat a bunch of cookies or some chocolate cake or something. My hypothesis: you will wake up absolutely starving, even more so than normal.