Friday, June 23, 2006

Best Behind-the-Times Movie Review

I finally saw X-Men 3 the other night. For the most part, it was fine. I liked the first X-Men, X-Men 2 frustrated me, and X3, as I had no expectations, wasn't so bad. Here is a numbered list of things I have thought about the movie:

1) When Wolverine tries to get into Jean Grey's house Juggernaut stops him by . . . throwing him into her house? But I'll forgive that weirdness because I liked it when Juggernaut threw Wolverine through the ceiling and then Wolverine fell back down through the ceiling, making another hole.

2) Jean Grey lifts the house with her Phoenix powers. This made me think of the Wizard of Oz.

3) The movie starts with Prof. X and Magneto visiting Jean's house. They pull up in a Mercedes. Magneto looks something like Dr. Who. Twenty years later when Prof. X returns to Jean's house, parks in pretty much the same spot as before, and has a Maybach.

4) I liked that Arclight was in the movie.

5) What was the deal with Magneto's gestures and facial expressions when using his magnet powers? Just seemed weird to me, not how I imagined the Master of Magnetism doing his thing.

6) I like Magneto lifting cars and Pyro setting them on fire.

7) I liked Rogue absorbing Colossus' powers to save herself in the Danger Room.

8) I liked Juggernaut chasing Shadowcat.

9) Remember at the end where Wolverine walks towards Phoenix as his body is disintegrating and rehealing? That reminded me of the Wolverine & Havok miniseries that came out when I was in 4th or 5th grade. Wolverine fights a guy during a nuclear meltdown in a reactor and his body melts away and regenerates during the fight.

10) You could tell that Halle Barry really demanded more attention because she thinks she's such an important actress.

11) I think eternal flames are played out.

12) Can we say that Angel was really even in the movie? And did he fly from New York to San Francisco on his own or sneak aboard the Blackbird>

13) Now that I've seen the SR-71 in real life, can I just say that the Blackbird is totally fake.

14) Do you know how the Blackbird turns invisible or the Danger Room does all that crazy stuff? Alien technology, from the Shi'ar. Also, Prof. X is consort to the queen of the Shi'ar. It's okay that they leave that out of the X movies.

15) The bonus scene after the credits? I approve.

16) The Magneto has his powers back already scene? Hmmm. I don't know if I needed that. Why not have him show up in the next movie and say "Ha ha! I got my powers back!" It reminds me of how all my friends and I thought that the Joker might be coming back because we supposed his lucky deck was in his pocket when he fell off Gotham Cathedral.

17) Magneto tears Golden Gate bridge from its foundations and sends it to Alcatraz: Late Afternoon. Magneto and his minions arrive at Alcatraz: Middle of the night.

18) I did not appreciate the voiceover during the army scene telling us that they were getting plastic guns.

19) Why did the X-Men fight to stop Magneto from destroying the "cure" anyway?

20) Beast? Whatever.

I think that's about it. On the whole, I think that these X-Men movies are fine for people who never obsessed over the comics and all the ideas and scenarios are new to them, but for me, I sort of felt like I was watching a sci-fi TV show that I didn't really care about super much.


ian said...

I just saw it today. I felt pretty much the same. I noticed pretty much the same things (especially the time disparity on the Bridge).

I actually liked Beast, but I thought they didn't give him enough to do. Same with Angel/Archangel. And the movie had entirely too much Halle Berry.

Cindy said...

Ohh! I forgot that I was disturbed by the Juggernaut throwing Wolverine into the house scene. It would have been just as easy for him to throw him somewhere else and for Wolverine to use his wiles to run in through a window or something.

I didn't really notice the excess of Halle Berry. I kept waiting for Cyclops to reappear.

JayMoo and Stephoin said...

I found out about the extra scene in the credits after leaving the movie and was angry. I want to see that scene, but will never watch Xmen 3 again (not because it is bad, but it only merits one watch in a life).

Tyler Bruford said...

What about Magneto in the park playing chess? Like he's not some type of fugitive, or out on bail (what, was it like eleventy-billion dollars) for ripping the Golden Gate off it's foundation?

emily said...

i missed the last scene too because of people who are so saturated with media that they can't just sit still for five minutes and watch the credits of a movie!

i hated the golden gate bridge thing. so pointless, and not particularly cool or horrifying or anything. i also hated throwing cars and setting them on fire. it just seemed too ad hoc.