Thursday, June 02, 2005

Best Killing of the Time II

What if I talk about new movie trailers? It's been a while since I last did this.

Roll Bounce A little while ago, I declared that this would be the best movie of the summer (?). I stick by that declaration, but I have found out that this movie isn't coming out until the end of the September. This news nearly ruined my summer and I became desperate for some hope for a new best movie of the summer, something that could somehow come slightly close to a roller skating movie starring Bow Wow. I wasn't very hopeful until I saw the trailer for . . .

March of the Penguins I mean, come on! This looks GOOD. Penguins? A Penguin reality adventure? Are you kidding me? The sliding and the swimming and the marching and the bumping into each other? Sign me up and make it in IMAX!

Deep Blue However, this movie strikes me as the most terrifying documentary ever made. I do not like underwater creatures, I do not like movies about underwater creatures, especially the underwater creatures that really exist. If I am Indiana Jones, then they are my snakes. (Especially underwater snakes, I suppose . . . but I don't have much of a problem with abover water snakes, if they're not biting)

Howl's Moving Castle I think Hayo Miyazaki's are boring and that the pictures aren't pretty enough. What do you think about that? Princess Mononoke was supposed to be really violent, but only a couple people got their arms shot off by arrows (if I remember correctly), that's not violent. And Spirited Away was supposed to be a feast for the imagination or something, but I just thought it was a bunch of creatures that looked kind of dumb and didn't make much sense. More of the same here, I suppose. Maybe it turns out that anime is boring and I was just so sold on Robotech, Voltron, Battle of the Planets, and Captain Harlock as a kid that I gave the rest of it a free ride for a long time . . . but even when I was real young I could tell that Star Blazers were boring. That said, the original Dragon Ball (no Z, no GT), in Spanish, was awesome and one of my favorite things about Mexico.

Mad Hot Ballroom This is the first 6 minutes of the Spellbound of ballroom dance movies. Why have I not yet seen the remaining 99 minutes yet? Pure carelessness on my part, that's the only possible explanation. Maybe just maybe this movie will be as good as the penguin one.

War of the Worlds Is this really just a movie about Tom Cruise running around Jersey looking scared, or has Spielberg made a movie full of sci-fi action that he's just not showing us in the trailers? I kind of liked Independence Day (we were so foolish back then!), I kind of liked Signs . . . is this the combination of the two? Or is it just Signs in Jersey?

The Island Yes, I see the explosions and the people in white suits, but what is this movie about? Is this one surprisey too?

A History of Violence As I started watching this trailer I was thinking about things I could say to make fun of it like "Uh oh, better pick up the trash!" but pretty soon I was like, "Whoah, this looks like a real good movie." And Ed Harris looks just like the badguy from Condor Man (funny, I wasn't expecting the internet to not have any pictures of the guy). You could say that the moment he takes his sunglasses off in this trailer is the moment at which I was sold on "A History of Violence," just like how my favorite part of Condor Man (it seems a little ridiculous to suggest that I could have one single favorite part of this movie) is when the bad guy flips up his visor while in his Porsche to reveal his creepy eye.

Rebound I still refuse to watch this trailer. Which reminds me, isn't it great that we don't have to see the White Chicks trailer every single time we go to the movies now that it's the summer of 2005, not 2004?

Deramer A lesson I learned from movies by the time I was done with kindergarten if not nursery school is that if a horse falls down, it gets shot. The children that see this movie are going to grow up to be very, very soft.

Curse of the Were Rabbit Things that Happened 10 Years Ago: I finished High School. I started college. The most recent Wallace and Gromit movie, "A Close Shave", came out. Hey, look at this. It's 2005 and there's a new Wallace and Gromit movie. I don't think I'll ever see anything half as brilliant as the Wrong Trousers, but I'll give this a shot or two.

The Adventures of Sharkboy and Lava Girl in 3D He might be called Shark Boy, but what's the deal with Lava Girl's teeth? Also, how many movies a year can Robert Rodriguez make, and how long would it take him to make a good movie instead? I'm sorry, I'm sorry. It's just that Spy Kids 3-D was so dumb. I'm sure this will be much, much better.

Also Don't forget to read about the "Briggie is My Homeboy" shirts two posts down from here if you haven't already. OR, read it again, if you'd like. Potential orders are kind of piling up, more or less, so get in on the action yourself and ask for one. I'm willing to be the homeboy of anyone that wants a shirt.

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