His review of Transformers 2:
"Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" (PG-13, 149 minutes). A horrible experience of unbearable length, briefly punctuated by three or four amusing moments. One of these involves a dog-like robot humping the leg of the heroine. If you want to save yourself the ticket price, go into the kitchen, cue up a male choir singing the music of hell, and get a kid to start banging pots and pans together. Then close your eyes and use your imagination. One star."
I was almost looking forward to how indignant this movie was going to make me until I realized: I don't have to see it. So I won't.
Remember his He's Just Not That Into You review? Classic.