Best Long-delayed White Stripes Report

So, I went and saw the White Stripes at Keyspan Park in Coney Island two Saturdays ago and I am finally writing about it. Tickets to the show clearly said "No Cameras," and I have always taken this threat seriously as I have been to shows where security guards confiscated cameras (or, even worse, simply wouldn't let people in that had cameras on them) SO I didn't have my camera with me and that means I have no photos from the show . . . and it's a shame, because everyone around me had a camera on them and I stood dead center with the stage only 7 or 8 people back.

Anyway, this was my third time seeing the White Stripes and while there certainly is no such thing as a bad White Stripes concert (the White Stripes are only very, very good) this show was definitely the second-best White Stripes concert I've been to. I'll just make a list of the highlights of the show:

1) As the White Stripes' latest album, Get Behind Me Satan, features all sorts of different instruments besides a guitar and drum set, there was a lot more stuff on stage with the band . . . aside from a xylophone, grand piano, and "those one kinds of drums that are big, and there's two of them" (the name escapes me, I'm not a percusionist) there were lots of South American curios and white palms on stage.

2) The band started the set off with "Black Math" and went straight into "Blue Orchid." This would be the point in the night where they won me over.

3) Jack White was dressed in a black cow-boyish outfit with a round-brimmed hat and now he's got really pointy facial hair, Meg White wore a frilly black shirt. Brother-in-Law Cory (not a White Stripes aficianado) thought this was because they were dressed as Zorro and Catharine Zeta Jones for the night.

4) When Jack stepped behind the xylophone to play "The Nurse" he twirled the mallets like a gun-slinger would twirl pistols. Sure he was just showing off, but I liked it.

5) Before the encore, Jack came out and told us we'd have to clap harder.

6) Jack's kind of a jerk to Meg, or maybe he's just in charge? He yells instructions at her throughout the set. During the encore they played "We Are Going to Be Friends," with Jack singing from the piano while Meg sat on the floor. When he was done with the song he walked over to his guitar and Meg gave him this "Aren't you going to help me get up?" look, which he either didn't notice or just completely ignored.

7) During one song someone through either a bra or bikini top onto the stage (you could say that the audience wasn't typical for a White Stripes show), prompting Jack to sing "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone" (Not the whole song, but just those words, "It's not unusual to be loved by anyone."

8) I love seeing the White Stripes, but there's always a point in their shows where I feel bogged down by all their durgey blues songs. Please, White Stripes, play me a concert where it's just your great loud, fast songs. Can I hear "Hypnotize"? Can I hear "Girl, You Have No Faith in Medicine?" And while I'm making requests, can I hear "You're Pretty Good Looking (for a Girl)"? (But don't worry, I've given up on hearing "Fell in Love With a Girl." I get it, you don't play it anymore. That's okay.)

9) At the same time, I'm glad that the White Stripes don't neglect their very first album and it was great to hear "Screwdriver."

10) They ended with "Boll Weevil." According to legend, that means they liked us, right?

Okay. That's enough. I'm just glad to have finally accounted for the night.