Best "This is the Worst Trip/I've Ever Been On"

While I was eating my Baconator on Monday I got a curious call from Jeff inviting me sailing that night which I summarily declined on account of my being afraid of sailboats. As the effects of my Baconator began to wear off, I started to feel I had been too quick in my declining...and also, I felt like I needed an adventure. Jeff explained to me that his co-worker's boyfriend was a hot shot yacht racer who needed to sail his boat down from Sag Harbor to City Island in the Bronx and that we'd be motoring down, not sailing...this made me feel better...and when Jeff told me that the boat was named "Tastes Like Chicken" well, then I knew I was definitely going.

So after a car ride and a bar dinner we were ready to start our voyage at around 12:30-1:00 am. I stayed up for a few hours before catching an hour or two of sleep below deck. (I don't mean to be so technical with my boat language, "below deck" means the downstairs, inside part of the boat.) Also, that third picture? It's of our skipper charting our course on his amazing course charting computer. I'm sure these computers are commonplace to sailors around the world, but to me, it was fascinating. It had a button called "M.O.B." that you were supposed to press if a man fell overboard to mark the position where you lost him.




And when I woke up, Jeff was driving the boat like he owned the thing! I felt like Han Solo coming out of carbonite to find Luke calling himself a Jedi Knight.


But before long I was at the wheel and slowly but surely erasing my unease over sailboats.


Sailing is like camping, except on water and you're moving. You sit around and watch the water like you'd watch a fire and someone cooks you steak and eggs that taste delicious. And when you get tired of watching the water, you just go and lie down for a while.



And also, sailing is easy. You just match the headings on two LCD displays and there you are, on your way in the right direction. Also, lots of times people will go to the front of the boat and say "I'm sailing! I'm sailing!"


See how the main sail sets?


This is our skipper, Steve. Just because you're out to sea doesn't mean you don't take care of your teeth.


And here's his first mate, Ed.


As we got closer destination we started to see lighthouses


And ridiculous coastal estates (please click to enlarge and contemplate)


After 12 or 13 hours we made it to City Island and a short, hmmm, 2 hours later our ride showed up and got us back to the city. Just like that.






This BLT was a logistical nightmare