Thursday, December 08, 2005

Best Hipster Quiz of Three Days Ago

On Gawker there's this "Are You a Hipster?" Quiz. I took it, I couldn't resist. Here's the quiz and my answers (if you're interested in taking it yourself maybe you should click over to Gawker and take it before reading my answers as they might taint your performance.) Before getting to my answers, shouldn't one get an automatic point for having been on Gawker in the first place?

1) Have you ever commented on Brooklyn Vegan?

No, but I read it daily.

2) Without looking it up, can you fill in the blanks in this sentence:
The Dark Room is on _______ between _______ and _______, but why are you going there? That place sucks now.

Ludlow, Houston, Stanton. But I only know this because I was walking up Ludlow once and said "Oh, so that's where the Dark Room is?" +1

3) Sure you’ve been to the Tribeca Grand before, but do you remember the name of the Saturday night party that, until recently, called the basement home?

Nope. But I'd certainly recognize it.

4) You’ve seen David Cross and [enter favorite Stroke here] at a bar, but you didn’t make a big deal out of it, right? After all, they’re just dudes hanging out.

The three of us were at the Paul Frank/Andy Warhol party . . . but I didn’t see them there.

5) In the past six months, have you been to two Fader-sponsored parties? (anybody can luck into one).

No, but I've been getting invites.

6) The ratio of free Sparks or Red Stripe that you’ve consumed to the number of Sparks or Red Stripe you’ve actually paid for is 2:1 or greater.

No, but only for the obvious reasons.

7) Do you know who Gavin McInnes, Michael T and Todd P are? (Give yourself 1 point for each.)

Gavin, Yes. He's one of the founders of Vice Magazine. +1

8) Have you been in a photo, even in the background of a photo, published on The Cobrasnake or Last Night’s Party?

Yes! Both! +1 (or 2? What are the rules?)

9) Do you know the name of the doorman at Misshapes and Motherf*cker?

Thomas something. He also worked the door at the Franz after party in the basement of the Tribeca Grand. +1

10) Do you know any of the details about why Death From Above had to change their name to Death From Above 1979?

Absolutely! Am I supposed to write an essay on this? It's because of DFA records, but James Murphy says it isn't his fault. +1

11) Do you know what Cornerstone is?

No.

12) Have you ever received anything for free — anything at all — from Cornerstone?

No.

13) Do you work for Cornerstone?

Yes. Wait . . . no.

14) Can you identify the fake UK buzz band in this group: Arctic Monkeys, Tiny Riot, Test-Icicles, Art Brut?

Tiny Riot. +1 (Do I get points for seeing each of these real bands’ first New York shows?)

15) Do you know the procedure for gaining entry into the Alife Rivington Club and Nom de Guerre?

Certainly. Also, I have taken my Mom to these places (or told her how to get in). +1

16) Famed graffiti artist Neckface designed T-shirts for a Williamsburg tattoo parlor that’s in the back of an art gallery on Berry and North 9th. Can you name the tattoo parlor?

No. But I want to.

17) During the summer season that somewhat recently concluded, guys: did you wear a T-shirt with a blazer? Girls: did you wear a pair of cowboy boots that you had bought before July?

Nope. But I have at other times.

18) Did you DJ at a party/bar/club in 2005?

No, unfortunately.

19) While having a conversation with someone in a bar, has the topic ever turned to how much you both hate Ultragrrrl, even though you both agreed on “how nice she is in person?”

Not exactly. We were discussing her during the Spin Magazine 20th Anniversary in the bar under Webster Hall, but no one agreed that she was nice in person.

20) Rejoice, the used clothing/record store now located in Williamsburg, was chased out of the Lower East Side because of surging rents. Do you know what LES street it used to be located on?

No. I mean, of course it was on Orchard (I checked and it was), but I've never heard of it.

21) During CMJ three months ago, did you attend two separate parties DJ’d by Steve Aoki … in the same day?

No, but almost.

22) Do the following letters mean anything to you: LVHRD?

Yes . . . I recognize them, and not just from the alphabet. +1

23) Were you invited to the Subways show at the Northsix tonight by +1?

No.

Result: 8 points

I resent this:

5-9 points: You are Culturally Aware. You understand what “indie rock” is (actually, I don’t. It’s the new word for “Alternative”, right?), and you can walk by the Angelika or Sunshine and recognize some of the titles playing, but you always say “Oh! I want to see that!” (not true. I know them all, always) and never do. You think the OC mix CDs are a great way to discover new bands (that’s just mean). You’ve started blowing off some get-togethers with friends for the occasional show at Webster Hall and Irving Plaza (I’ve mentioned that I’ve stopped going to shows, right?). Still, though, you’re not quite sure why it’s cool to like LCD Soundsystem (Not so. It’s cool to like them because they put on three of the best shows I saw this year) but bad to like The Bravery (it’s bad to like The Bravery because they put on the least-charismatic show I caught this year). You’re walking a fine line right now, and you could go either way.

But I don’t know why I’d want to argue myself into . . .

10-14 points: You are a Hipster. You seek out the latest and greatest music (I did until two weeks ago), and you might have a blog (hmm, maybe . . .). You go to shows at Mercury Lounge, Bowery Ballroom and Northsix several times a month (I did until two weeks ago), and most of your friends are hipsters, too (Not so much, or, I don't know . . . they'll need to take the quiz too). You have little in common with most co-workers or fellow students (You could say that). You’ve gazed longingly at the Misshapes photo gallery and considered it — maybe you’ve even gone once or twice (once.)— but guest lists and Happy Ending after-parties are still a foreign concept, even though you’d love to be a part of it. You’ve stopped hanging out above 14th Street (Duh.).

I feel that perhaps I am making myself quite vulnerable to criticism and evaluation with this post. Hey, all I wanted to do was take a test because it was late and I had been studying Income Tax all day.

I invite you to take this test and tell me how you did in my comments section (and tell me the answers to the ones that I didn't know.)

8 comments:

Tannerama said...

So, I was unaware that hipsters were restricted to the east coast only... but that is just the type of behavior you would expect from those elitist bastards.

Hey New York! News Flash! There are 49 other states and all off them are pretty cool in their own way!

Cache said...

Shouldn't that test be to see if you are a jack-ass?

Riah said...

hey there tannerama, easy now. no one is saying that other states are not cool in their own way.

It is just that NY is so, so much cooler. any hipster knows that.

hey, someone tell that cassian dude to watch his language. or i'm gonna tell on him.

Briggie, i scored my 2 points because of music and/or information you have given me.

JayMoo and Stephoin said...

Most other states are pretty cool in a different way too...a less hipster way.

I scored a 3. I took you to the Paul Frank party and I think we get the point. You definitely could have argued yourself into full hipster mania.

I like the hipster music world but do not participate actively enough to catch the lingo or the faces. I have a blog though - but I guess that makes every 11 year old in the US a hipster.

Cache said...

I'm just mad because when I took it I wasn't getting any points.

Brig said...

Assignment:
Someone write the ultimate Utah Valley Hipster Quiz. Someone else write the ultimate Burbank Hipster Quiz. Then everyone will be happy and hip, and I will be entertained.

Oh that I still lived in Utah and could write that Utah Valley Hipster quiz!

Guebb said...

NY? Hip? It's been done. If you want hip try Bridgeport, Nebraska . . . now that's hip. It's not even on the map it's so effing hip . . .

Mike Lemmon said...

If I hadn't moved to NZ, I would have been at Julian's birthday party at that one bar on Delancy -- David Cross and EVERY member of the Strokes! Todd P organizes shows in Brooklyn, and he was trying to make this new venue in Greenpoint, DIY style, but The Man put a stop to it. Who would have guessed that you need a permit to serve alcohol and play loud music in a structurally unsound building in a residential neighborhood! I think my Sparks ratio is somewhere around 10:0.