Tuesday, February 15, 2005

Best Four Things I've Learned in the Last Four Days

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1) While walking around Soho, you have to look up from time to time. Because then you might discover things like old buildings that look like Corinthian columns made out of a bunch of Corinthian columns, instead of dumb old fancy stores and pretty people. (I guess you had to be there . . . or maybe have to see the full-size version of this photo.)

2) How to make bean croquettes. Now I eat bean croquettes for breakfast, lunch, and dinner . . . just like how last week I was eating egg & hamburger sandwiches every day, and the week before that it was nonstop with the BLTs, and before that it was crazy crazy with the grillt cheese.

3) Some people think I'm kidding when I talk about how awesome my Admiralty Law class is, like it's just some joke I'm making to keep myself interested in the Law of the Sea. Well, in class we were reading a marine insurance contract, and this is what it said concerning "Perils":

Touching the Adventures and Perils which the Undewriters are contented to bear and take upon themselves, they are of the Seas, Men-of-War, Fire, Lightning, Earthquake, Enemies, Pirates, Rovers, Assailing Thieves, Jettisons, Letters of Mart and Counter-Mart, Surprisals, Takings at Sea, Arrests, Restraints, and Detainments of all Kings, Princes and Peoples, of which nation, condition or quality soever, Barratry of the Master and Mariners and of all other like Perils, Losses and Misfortunes that have or shall come to the Hurt, Detriment or Damage of the Vessel, or any part thereof, excepting, however, such of the foregoing perils as may be excluded by provsisions elsewhere in the Policy or by endorsement thereon.

"Enemies, Pirates, Rovers, Assailing Thieves"? Are you kidding me? And this isn't a contract from the 1700's, this is from something someone signed in 1977, the year of my birth. You can have your "party of the first part and party of the second part" dryland agreements, I'm casting off to concern myself with the "Adventures and Perils which the Underwriters are contented to bear and take upon themselves."

4) I hope my every mention of Elvis Costello, my neighbor, doesn't seem like name dropping. Hello? He's my neighbor. You wouldn't be rolling your eyes if I was talking about the Lunds or VanVersts everyday, would you, dear reader? Anyway, I've found out what apartment Mr. Costello and his wife Ms. Diana Krall in. How? There was a gigantic floral arrangement in the lobby this afternoon with a note prominently displayed, clearly addressed to "Ms. Diana Krall. . . . " Sorry. Not telling. Doesn't seem right.


Ryan said...

Hey, don't neglect the Jettisons and Suprisals!

I must confess, now, that some years ago I took an incorrect position. Evidence such as this contract only serves to further the correct point, which I now recognize...

Pirates are cooler than astronauts.

Bryant said...

What am I doing in boring classes like Criminal Procedure? I have never once heard words like "jettison," "letters of Mart," or "rovers" in any of my classes. Maybe the school will give me a refund. D'ya think?

Anonymous said...

Actually, the policy you speak of is the old Lloyd's Shipping and Goods marine insurance policy from the 1700's which was still in use until 1983. It was widely considered too "archaic" to be used in modern society thus Lloyd's redrafted it in a much simpler form.
Policies in the old form are still enforceable however.