There was a small gathering last night at 2 Gold to celebrate Michael's Birthday. We had an ice cream cake.
Which was tricky to cut.
And Erin wore her party hood.
Photos were being taken like crazy!
It was a pretty great party!
But who is this Michael with the birthday? Scranton Regional Manager Michael Scott, of course.
Yes, I went to a birthday party for a TV character last night. What?
Friday, March 31, 2006
Thursday, March 30, 2006
Best News in Ages
I just got off the phone from listening in as my brother Owen opened his mission call. It was something else to hear all the cheers when he read his call. So as to not steal Elder Barnes' thunder, I'll ask him to leave a comment saying where he's headed . . . but here's a hint: it sounds pretty awesome and we were talking about it in Art Law today.
Congratulations.
Congratulations.
Best Internet-Inflicted Demise
You know what I bet they just don't do in schools anymore because of how we've got the internet now? I bet they don't do penpals, the kind that teachers assign you to have.
I remember being involved in two penpal projects during grade school. The first was just between our class and a class of students that were a grade or two older than us in our same school. I was assigned a kind of tough kid who I would always see playing four square during lunch, so I sent him a letter that was like "My name is Brigham. I love playing four square." I really didn't have very passionate feelings about four square, but I thought it'd be good to appeal to his interests. I never got anything from him, I think the fact that he might not have known English is partially to blame for that. Also of note, the kid's dad (or legal guardian?) would pick him up from school in a truck that had a bumpersticker that said "Poker players do it on the table." I sort of got that joke.
My second teacher-appointed penpal was a girl that lived in St. Louis. She came on really strong by including a photo of herself in her first letter. Feeling low on inspiration, I sent her a letter telling her I was really into four square, and that was pretty much the end of that penpal project.
I never had one of those penpals that lived in Russia or Kenya. If you had one of those, I'm guessing you went to a really smug school.
I think now teachers just ask their students to add kids they've never heard of to their buddylists or something.
I remember being involved in two penpal projects during grade school. The first was just between our class and a class of students that were a grade or two older than us in our same school. I was assigned a kind of tough kid who I would always see playing four square during lunch, so I sent him a letter that was like "My name is Brigham. I love playing four square." I really didn't have very passionate feelings about four square, but I thought it'd be good to appeal to his interests. I never got anything from him, I think the fact that he might not have known English is partially to blame for that. Also of note, the kid's dad (or legal guardian?) would pick him up from school in a truck that had a bumpersticker that said "Poker players do it on the table." I sort of got that joke.
My second teacher-appointed penpal was a girl that lived in St. Louis. She came on really strong by including a photo of herself in her first letter. Feeling low on inspiration, I sent her a letter telling her I was really into four square, and that was pretty much the end of that penpal project.
I never had one of those penpals that lived in Russia or Kenya. If you had one of those, I'm guessing you went to a really smug school.
I think now teachers just ask their students to add kids they've never heard of to their buddylists or something.
Tuesday, March 28, 2006
Best Brief Reviews of New Cool Rock
This is the silly sandwich they sold me by school today. It doesn't have anything to do with rock music reviews, but it was good looking, and I'd definitely eat one again.
Yeah Yeah Yeahs, "Show Your Bones"
First of all, I've got to give mad props to the Yeah Yeah Yeah's label, Interscope, because this record was impossible to find online before it was released today. This talk that file sharing will destroy the record label is too much, because it seems to me that if you hire someone that knows all about stealing music online to look for your records for you, you can cut off the source. Also, it doesn't hurt if you flood the P2Ps with fake copies of your files. So good work, Interscope Internet Division.
This record is really good, but it won't get you going like "Fever to Tell". "Show Your Bones" was produced by DJ Squeak E. Clean who made that song "Hello Tomorrow" with Karen O last year for the dream sequence Adidas commercial by Spike Jonze (by the way, how great is YouTube?) and this whole record pretty much sounds like that commercial--or songs that could be that commercial. And remember when you saw that commercial and thought, "Wait, whoah, that's Karen O singing? This sounds . . . different." Well, that's how you'll feel listening to "Show Your Bones." There's a few really great songs on it, especially "Turn Into", the album's closing track, which is worthy of keeping on repeat for a day and a half. This song is glorious, if "Maps" was High School, "Turn Into" is College. Also definitely dope: lead single "Gold Lion," stomper "Phenomena," and sunrise-sounding "Cheated Hearts." Also, "Mysteries" is fun, it sounds like when you've finished doing a good job at something and everyone is glad about it. Now I think "Dudley" is great, too. Okay, this record is growing on me bad and I like it all. (if you couldn't tell, I've been editing this paragraph as I relisten to "Show Your Bones.")
Morrissey, "Ringleader of the Tormentors"
Sonically, quite similar to "You are the Quarry."
What are the lyrics like? Oh, you know, the usual Steven Patrick. Consider this bit from "To Me You Are a Work of Art":
I see the world
It makes me puke
But then I look at you and know
That somewhere there’s a someone who can soothe me
To me you are a work of art
And I would give you my heart
That’s if I had one, had one
It's not like you don't know what you're getting yourself into when you pick up a Morrissey record. And if you don't know what you're getting yourself into when you pick up a Morrissey record, pick up a different one than this.
Liars, "Drums Not Dead"
Three years ago the Liars were a nearly-unlistenable dancepunk trio that I suspected didn't really expect anyone to dance to their music. They ditched that sound for whatever their second album was supposed to be, and this latest record, supposedly a concept album about the relationship between two characters, Mt. Heart Attack and Drum, ditches the second record's sound for a rhythmcentric dose of late 90's Einsturzende Neubauten lite. What does that mean? It meanst that if you like groany voices and plastic being pounded, this might be the record for you.
Ghostface Killah, "Fishscale"
Yeah, I've got it. But I'm not going to review it. It's not like I totally copy Pitchfork on everything. This I'll tell you: Of course it's good, Pitchfork gave it a 9!
Best Return to Looking Good on the Dance Floor
Last week Jeff made a post about how hard it can be to get good concert photos and wondered what the secret to my occasionally good-looking rock pictures was . . . well, here's proof that it's all about being close, cuz my long distance shots of the Arctic Monkeys at Webster Hall Saturday night are plenty rough.
So, yeah. Saturday night I checked out the Arctic Monkeys, whose first ever US appearance I had caught last year, with Pamela. There were two big reasons for my seeing the band again: 1) For liking the Arctic Monkeys and 2) I wanted to see how they held up on repeat performances.
The verdict?
They still play fast . . .
I don't remember there being a tamborine before. . .
And now the singer guy is totally opposed to facing the audience. . .
The band is still something else, but it's hard being satisfied with seeing them from the middle of Webster Hall when you've watched them from the front of the Mercury Lounge. Look at me, bragging. Sorry.
So, yeah. Saturday night I checked out the Arctic Monkeys, whose first ever US appearance I had caught last year, with Pamela. There were two big reasons for my seeing the band again: 1) For liking the Arctic Monkeys and 2) I wanted to see how they held up on repeat performances.
The verdict?
They still play fast . . .
I don't remember there being a tamborine before. . .
And now the singer guy is totally opposed to facing the audience. . .
The band is still something else, but it's hard being satisfied with seeing them from the middle of Webster Hall when you've watched them from the front of the Mercury Lounge. Look at me, bragging. Sorry.
Sunday, March 26, 2006
Best Staying Ahead of the Trends
I shaved my beard (off) a week ago, just barely getting out of that scene before the NY Times blew the lid off the trend.
liked beards back before they were cool and sold out.
But I'll confess that after I shaved it I felt like a Unicorn without its horn for a while.
liked beards back before they were cool and sold out.
But I'll confess that after I shaved it I felt like a Unicorn without its horn for a while.
Saturday, March 25, 2006
Best New Rule
I would like to propose a new rule, that the pets shall be allowed to eat at the table on Thanksgiving provided they:
1) Sit in their own chairs
2) Wear napkins tucked into their collars
3) Consent to wearing pilgrim hats or Indian feathers if the family is inclined to dress them up
I feel this rule would foster closer family ties and funnier photos for Christmas cards.
1) Sit in their own chairs
2) Wear napkins tucked into their collars
3) Consent to wearing pilgrim hats or Indian feathers if the family is inclined to dress them up
I feel this rule would foster closer family ties and funnier photos for Christmas cards.
Friday, March 24, 2006
Best Piece About the Mexican, about Tacos and Enchilladas and Fajitas and Salsa and Cheese and Hasta Manana
Remember the first time you had Indian food? Quite possible it was at the Bombay House in Provo, or Khan's in London, and you sat there and looked at the menu and just thought: "What is this stuff?" And your friend that already knew everything about Indian food (maybe it was Whitney Bushman?) explained words like samosa, pakora, masala, naan, and vindaloo to you and you still didn't know what any of it was. So you just ordered whatever and it was delicious, and eventually you became half an expert on Indian food and found yourself explaining menus to people yourself.
Well, let me present a cherished link I re-discovered going through my bookmarks this week. It's to a review of a Mexican restaurant that is in Mumbai, India written by a fellow that calls himself Busybee. So what we've got here is someone explaining our beloved Mexican food and the culture of our beloved Mexico to people who know as much about tortillas as my grandma might know about paratha.
I learned in school that if you want people to read something, you better just put it in your post or email, because they might be too lazy to click through, so here's Busybee's review:
Viva Mexico: A Slice of Mexico
by Busybee
Off Turner Road, first turn left and on the way to Pali Hill, two little restaurants sit together, a Thai and a Mexican, like a married couple from two nationalities. The Thai is Thai-Ban, it has the former head cook of the President's Thai Pavillion. About this, I will write on another occasion. The Mexican is Viva Mexico, it has a cook from Pancho's in Dubai, Salvador Noronha. This piece is about the Mexican, about tacos and enchilladas and fajitas and salsa and cheese and hasta manana.
The two have the same proprietor, Richard Dias, also a former chef with The President, and they share the same porch, a raised platform in front of their entrances, where customers have al frescoe meals in the late evenings, as traffic turns around the Daewoo Showroom and moves towards the hill. But they have separate kitchens and separate staff, and you stick to your chosen nationality for the day.
I chose Viva Mexico because it is new. And Mexican food is still in the process of being accepted in the city. Though the New Yorker at Chowpatty is astonishlingly popular, but that is among vegetarians. It is one of the things I have noticed, if you are invited to a vegetarian house for dinner, and the hostess is a little fancy, her international dishes will invariably be Mexican. Second choice is Italian. Viva Mexico is strictly non-veg, including beef, though there are enough alternatives for vegetarians.
Tex-Mex ChilliesAnd the food is Tex Mex which means tortilla and beans, and re-fried beans. For those who like them, there is no other food. Be a cowboy, ride the range
I began with nachos, nicely crisp corn tortilla chips, re-fried beans, lots of melted cheese topped with bell pepper and tomato slices. For the fillings, I had a choice: ole (veg), carne (beef), pollo (chicken) and camerone (prawns). I had the chicken, Rs. 70, and I asked for more melted cheese. It tasted cheesy, all right, and the tender meat of the chicken stood out against the crispness of the tortilla chip.
The tortilla is like our roti, only it is made of corn, maize, or, as they would appropriately call it, Indian corn. It is the full grain and occasionally it is corn flour. You get it is an accompaniment or you get the filling rolled into it, like a roti roll. The quesadilla, which I next ordered, was a much larger roti, almost pre-folded. The stuffings were identical, except that instead of prawns there was cheese (Rs.55 for a cheese quesadilla). After the stuffing is put in the roti, it is tava fried. The chhese runs out rather messily. But there's fun in that. Next, the tacos, which were crispy like papads, shell shaped. Normally, in Mexican restaurants, the tacos are large, but atViva Mexico the chef had specially kept them small. The price range is the same throughout, Rs.55, 65, 70, depending on the stuffing or accompaniment. As Richard Dias, who did his catering from Manipal, says, the concept is VFM. He and his cooks work in an easy partnership, they work out the costing of the food and see that the final price does not include too big a profit margin. A person can have a good meal in Rs.150, in fact, Rs. 100, he tells me, and there is no question of drinks extra, because they serve no alcohol. They are too small to have a license.
The restaurant is small. Twenty covers, plus the porch, where another 20 can sit. But it is nicely laid out, decor by the talented Monica Vazirani, sombreros on tables as ash trays, cowboys on walls, music, customers talking to one another from acros their respective tables.
Proprietor Richard Dias with his Thai and Mexican chefs, sitting on the common patio of the two restaurants.They serve a lovely soup, worth going all the way to Bandra only for that. There is a clear soup and a thick soup, and I am refering to the clear soup. Ask for tortilla soup, that's easy to remember. It's a-light broth, chicken or vegetable, there are vegetables inside and strips of crisp tortilla. Cheese is added to it, giving it a slight burnt flavour, though I am corrected the flavour is of the oregano not the cheese. Chef Salvador knows best. His soup, if it is chicken costs Rs. 50, only vegetable Rs.40.
The main course again has large flour tortilla, with grilled strips of meat or prawns, topped with salsa and cheese sauce. There is extra salsa on the table for you to add to. These are the burritos, Tex Mex, and they cost the same, between Rs.70 and 100. There is a fillet of ravas, marinated in lime and pepper, and done in a lemony sauce, served with black olives and cheese on the side. All the main course dishes come with complimentary red Mexican rice and pico de frallo. If you do not know what the last-mentioned means, don't fret, it is only a salad, onions, tomatoes, bell peppers in a Mexican dressing of vinegar, oil and oregano. The proprietor-chef is very big on oregano at Viva Mexico. The red rice is our basmati tossed in a barbecue sauce. It tastes lovely, mildly spiced, tomato flavoured.
Finally, the fajitas. These are sizzlers, Mexican version. They don't have steaks of meat, instead they have shredded meat, beef or chicken. But they are served on sizzler plates, with a cabbage at the bottom to stop the smoking. Since smoke can be a bit of a nuisance in the little restaurant. And they are accompanied with grilled onions, peppers, re-fried beans, Mexican rice, shredded cheese, plus hot flour tortilla. The beef sizzler costs Rs.120, chicken Rs.125. And I must mention the Tex Mex pizzas. The base is a tortilla, not pizza bread. Try it.
Source.
Busybee's got other restaurant reviews. I'm just glad to know there's a restaurant called "The Excellensea."
Well, let me present a cherished link I re-discovered going through my bookmarks this week. It's to a review of a Mexican restaurant that is in Mumbai, India written by a fellow that calls himself Busybee. So what we've got here is someone explaining our beloved Mexican food and the culture of our beloved Mexico to people who know as much about tortillas as my grandma might know about paratha.
I learned in school that if you want people to read something, you better just put it in your post or email, because they might be too lazy to click through, so here's Busybee's review:
Viva Mexico: A Slice of Mexico
by Busybee
Off Turner Road, first turn left and on the way to Pali Hill, two little restaurants sit together, a Thai and a Mexican, like a married couple from two nationalities. The Thai is Thai-Ban, it has the former head cook of the President's Thai Pavillion. About this, I will write on another occasion. The Mexican is Viva Mexico, it has a cook from Pancho's in Dubai, Salvador Noronha. This piece is about the Mexican, about tacos and enchilladas and fajitas and salsa and cheese and hasta manana.
The two have the same proprietor, Richard Dias, also a former chef with The President, and they share the same porch, a raised platform in front of their entrances, where customers have al frescoe meals in the late evenings, as traffic turns around the Daewoo Showroom and moves towards the hill. But they have separate kitchens and separate staff, and you stick to your chosen nationality for the day.
I chose Viva Mexico because it is new. And Mexican food is still in the process of being accepted in the city. Though the New Yorker at Chowpatty is astonishlingly popular, but that is among vegetarians. It is one of the things I have noticed, if you are invited to a vegetarian house for dinner, and the hostess is a little fancy, her international dishes will invariably be Mexican. Second choice is Italian. Viva Mexico is strictly non-veg, including beef, though there are enough alternatives for vegetarians.
Tex-Mex ChilliesAnd the food is Tex Mex which means tortilla and beans, and re-fried beans. For those who like them, there is no other food. Be a cowboy, ride the range
I began with nachos, nicely crisp corn tortilla chips, re-fried beans, lots of melted cheese topped with bell pepper and tomato slices. For the fillings, I had a choice: ole (veg), carne (beef), pollo (chicken) and camerone (prawns). I had the chicken, Rs. 70, and I asked for more melted cheese. It tasted cheesy, all right, and the tender meat of the chicken stood out against the crispness of the tortilla chip.
The tortilla is like our roti, only it is made of corn, maize, or, as they would appropriately call it, Indian corn. It is the full grain and occasionally it is corn flour. You get it is an accompaniment or you get the filling rolled into it, like a roti roll. The quesadilla, which I next ordered, was a much larger roti, almost pre-folded. The stuffings were identical, except that instead of prawns there was cheese (Rs.55 for a cheese quesadilla). After the stuffing is put in the roti, it is tava fried. The chhese runs out rather messily. But there's fun in that. Next, the tacos, which were crispy like papads, shell shaped. Normally, in Mexican restaurants, the tacos are large, but atViva Mexico the chef had specially kept them small. The price range is the same throughout, Rs.55, 65, 70, depending on the stuffing or accompaniment. As Richard Dias, who did his catering from Manipal, says, the concept is VFM. He and his cooks work in an easy partnership, they work out the costing of the food and see that the final price does not include too big a profit margin. A person can have a good meal in Rs.150, in fact, Rs. 100, he tells me, and there is no question of drinks extra, because they serve no alcohol. They are too small to have a license.
The restaurant is small. Twenty covers, plus the porch, where another 20 can sit. But it is nicely laid out, decor by the talented Monica Vazirani, sombreros on tables as ash trays, cowboys on walls, music, customers talking to one another from acros their respective tables.
Proprietor Richard Dias with his Thai and Mexican chefs, sitting on the common patio of the two restaurants.They serve a lovely soup, worth going all the way to Bandra only for that. There is a clear soup and a thick soup, and I am refering to the clear soup. Ask for tortilla soup, that's easy to remember. It's a-light broth, chicken or vegetable, there are vegetables inside and strips of crisp tortilla. Cheese is added to it, giving it a slight burnt flavour, though I am corrected the flavour is of the oregano not the cheese. Chef Salvador knows best. His soup, if it is chicken costs Rs. 50, only vegetable Rs.40.
The main course again has large flour tortilla, with grilled strips of meat or prawns, topped with salsa and cheese sauce. There is extra salsa on the table for you to add to. These are the burritos, Tex Mex, and they cost the same, between Rs.70 and 100. There is a fillet of ravas, marinated in lime and pepper, and done in a lemony sauce, served with black olives and cheese on the side. All the main course dishes come with complimentary red Mexican rice and pico de frallo. If you do not know what the last-mentioned means, don't fret, it is only a salad, onions, tomatoes, bell peppers in a Mexican dressing of vinegar, oil and oregano. The proprietor-chef is very big on oregano at Viva Mexico. The red rice is our basmati tossed in a barbecue sauce. It tastes lovely, mildly spiced, tomato flavoured.
Finally, the fajitas. These are sizzlers, Mexican version. They don't have steaks of meat, instead they have shredded meat, beef or chicken. But they are served on sizzler plates, with a cabbage at the bottom to stop the smoking. Since smoke can be a bit of a nuisance in the little restaurant. And they are accompanied with grilled onions, peppers, re-fried beans, Mexican rice, shredded cheese, plus hot flour tortilla. The beef sizzler costs Rs.120, chicken Rs.125. And I must mention the Tex Mex pizzas. The base is a tortilla, not pizza bread. Try it.
Source.
Busybee's got other restaurant reviews. I'm just glad to know there's a restaurant called "The Excellensea."
Thursday, March 23, 2006
Best Experiment in Selfishness
Have you seen the neat newish feature at the iTunes store where you can gift someone an album/song/video/whatever? I think it's a really neat feature, you can be all "Hey, Valentine. Here's a fun song that I bought for your computer."
Also, have you seen how all of My Super Sweet 16 Seasons One and Two are on the iTunes music store now?
Hold on, don't jump to conclusions here. I'm not about to ask you to buy me both seasons of My Super Sweet 16, come on. That'd be ridiculous.
Ahem.
Does anyone want to test the gifting feature of the iTunes music store and gift me the Ava episode from Season One, a.k.a. "The Reason Philo T. Farnsworth Invented Television"? It's just $1.99. Come on, just do it. Buy it for me. Come on. Come on.
PS If you live in Albany, New York and you visited Steady Mobbin' at 1:22 AM today (just a couple of minutes ago) congratulations, you're guest #25,000, which I think is a much neater number than 20,000.
UPDATE The Conclusion of This Experiment? It was a total failure. No one loves me $1.99 much. No use in trying to buy the video now. It's too late, I don't even want it.
Also, have you seen how all of My Super Sweet 16 Seasons One and Two are on the iTunes music store now?
Hold on, don't jump to conclusions here. I'm not about to ask you to buy me both seasons of My Super Sweet 16, come on. That'd be ridiculous.
Ahem.
Does anyone want to test the gifting feature of the iTunes music store and gift me the Ava episode from Season One, a.k.a. "The Reason Philo T. Farnsworth Invented Television"? It's just $1.99. Come on, just do it. Buy it for me. Come on. Come on.
PS If you live in Albany, New York and you visited Steady Mobbin' at 1:22 AM today (just a couple of minutes ago) congratulations, you're guest #25,000, which I think is a much neater number than 20,000.
UPDATE The Conclusion of This Experiment? It was a total failure. No one loves me $1.99 much. No use in trying to buy the video now. It's too late, I don't even want it.
Wednesday, March 22, 2006
Best Research Project in Ages
Last year, I made sure everyone knew I was taking Admiralty Law. This year, I'm making sure everyone knows I'm writing a big paper about bounty hunters. It has been a tireless labor of love, and I'd like to fill you in on some of my learning.
Last week I learned that bounty hunters don't necessarily make great writers when i read "Bounty Hunter," a memoir/instruction manual/flashlight catalogue by Bob Burton, a major figure in the world of bounty hunting. Here's some of his best stuff:
First of all, Burton seemed to have a small problem with consistency, while giving props to his fellow bounty hunter, Ralph "Papa" Thorson, Burton writes:
Ralph’s view of the bail business is honed by over nine thousand arrests and close to forty years as a bounty hunter.
While, two pages later, Burton has this to say of Thorson's accomplishments:
With over 10,000 arrests to his credit, Thorson is considered the “supreme” bounty hunter.
Granted, "over 10,000" is also "over 9,000", but . . . you know.
A few pages later, Burton nobly describes the ideal modern bounty hunter:
The modern bounty hunter is ideally part attorney, part scientist, part psychologist, and part police officer. He is versed in languages of the ethnic groups in his area, strong and untiring, honest and sober. His appearance and demeanor are above reproach.
But this picture of Ralph Thorson is found on the facing page:
What was the definition of "above reproach" again? And, while we're at it, "appearance and demeanor"?
Still, Burton recognizes that a certain stigma is attached to his profession:
But don’t ever expect to be nominated head of the Chamber of Commerce of your city. The word “bounty hunter” is laden with colorful and dubious associations. Hell, even your mom will wonder.
Burton gives good advice about roughing up bounties:
The human head can only take so much pounding by metal or hard wooden objects. When you are arresting an unruly individual, you may feel the need to break something over his or her head. Don’t do it! Severe injury could result.
And he adds this:
If you must hit someone with other than your hand, hit him on the elbows, wrists, knees and collar bone. I guarantee these points are painful.
Flashlights are important to bounty hunting, otherwise Burton wouldn't have dedicated about 4 pages to discussing their potency:
The blast a 35,000 candlepower light beam can produce on your brain is overhelming.
Sure 35,000 candlepower is great, but you know what's better. . .
One manufacturer, Stream Light, produces a light up to 1,000,000 candlepower. It’ll knock your socks off.
Sounds great, on the next page Burton says this about another flashlight:
The 35,000 candlepower light will knock your socks off.
So, you know, 35,000 to 1,000,000, in general, that's where you'll find the sock-knocking-off candlepower.
Burton tries to keep things really serious, dignified, and above reproach throughout the book, like when giving his opinion of the American criminal justice system:
A morass of horsesh*t favors the criminal and places a burden on the victim.
I'll have that quote in my paper, there's no way around it.
As far as technique goes, on page34 you'll find out how to get someone else's info at the DMV (come in sweat pants and say you left your wallet at the gym), on pages 50-53 you'll learn how to trick college students (pretend you're going to give them a job or paint their apartment).
But the bounty hunter's life isn't always fun and games and trickery, sometimes the trick is on the bounty hunter (regarding a female bounty Burton had caught and had to drive across a statelines):
Unfortunately, we found out that she had a very unpleasant habit of throwing her excrement at us. . . I would have been tempted to belt a guy throwing excrement about my van; but delivering a woman to county jail with a fat lip and black eyes would be too touchy.
And while we're on the subject of transport, let's not forget this rule of thumb:
While we’re on the subject of transport, let me mention that your car should be used for transporting the fugitive to the police station and not as a weapon for battering nor as a vehicle for high speed chases. Both can get you into far more trouble than the reward of bringing the prisoner in would be worth.
Also, sometimes you have to lead your bounty around by a chain around their neck, but don't think that means you can get away with being disrespectful:
With the chain you can walk him as if he’s on a leash. And going back to my earlier words on the subject of respect. Should this situation, don’t make light of it by referring to walking a dog. Your prisoner may be under extreme stress, and the situation will be distasteful enough as it is.
Later, Burton lists different airlines and their policies for flying with fugitives, and all I've got to say about this list is that I wouldn't fly Eastern airlines even if I could.
In the very brief chapter on Bribes, Burton has this to say:
In your work, you will be offered bribes by men who are about to lose their freedom. Don’t even think of taking them. Your personal honor, your reputation, and the possibility of your breaking the law are at stake.
Finally, Burton finishes the book (which really isn't very long) by describing the perfect bounty hunter:
The bondsmen is not looking for a bruiser. He is looking for a three-hundred pound linebacker with the wit and wisdom of Plato, the temperament of Woody Allen, the nose of Pluto, and the mind of F. Lee Bailey. Impossible dream? Perhaps, but there are many who approach this business who think all you have to do is man-handle the fugitive into the back seat of a car and hustle him off to the slammer.
Also, don't forget that he's looking for someone who's appearance and demeanor are above reproach.
PS This is Bob Burton
Last week I learned that bounty hunters don't necessarily make great writers when i read "Bounty Hunter," a memoir/instruction manual/flashlight catalogue by Bob Burton, a major figure in the world of bounty hunting. Here's some of his best stuff:
First of all, Burton seemed to have a small problem with consistency, while giving props to his fellow bounty hunter, Ralph "Papa" Thorson, Burton writes:
Ralph’s view of the bail business is honed by over nine thousand arrests and close to forty years as a bounty hunter.
While, two pages later, Burton has this to say of Thorson's accomplishments:
With over 10,000 arrests to his credit, Thorson is considered the “supreme” bounty hunter.
Granted, "over 10,000" is also "over 9,000", but . . . you know.
A few pages later, Burton nobly describes the ideal modern bounty hunter:
The modern bounty hunter is ideally part attorney, part scientist, part psychologist, and part police officer. He is versed in languages of the ethnic groups in his area, strong and untiring, honest and sober. His appearance and demeanor are above reproach.
But this picture of Ralph Thorson is found on the facing page:
What was the definition of "above reproach" again? And, while we're at it, "appearance and demeanor"?
Still, Burton recognizes that a certain stigma is attached to his profession:
But don’t ever expect to be nominated head of the Chamber of Commerce of your city. The word “bounty hunter” is laden with colorful and dubious associations. Hell, even your mom will wonder.
Burton gives good advice about roughing up bounties:
The human head can only take so much pounding by metal or hard wooden objects. When you are arresting an unruly individual, you may feel the need to break something over his or her head. Don’t do it! Severe injury could result.
And he adds this:
If you must hit someone with other than your hand, hit him on the elbows, wrists, knees and collar bone. I guarantee these points are painful.
Flashlights are important to bounty hunting, otherwise Burton wouldn't have dedicated about 4 pages to discussing their potency:
The blast a 35,000 candlepower light beam can produce on your brain is overhelming.
Sure 35,000 candlepower is great, but you know what's better. . .
One manufacturer, Stream Light, produces a light up to 1,000,000 candlepower. It’ll knock your socks off.
Sounds great, on the next page Burton says this about another flashlight:
The 35,000 candlepower light will knock your socks off.
So, you know, 35,000 to 1,000,000, in general, that's where you'll find the sock-knocking-off candlepower.
Burton tries to keep things really serious, dignified, and above reproach throughout the book, like when giving his opinion of the American criminal justice system:
A morass of horsesh*t favors the criminal and places a burden on the victim.
I'll have that quote in my paper, there's no way around it.
As far as technique goes, on page34 you'll find out how to get someone else's info at the DMV (come in sweat pants and say you left your wallet at the gym), on pages 50-53 you'll learn how to trick college students (pretend you're going to give them a job or paint their apartment).
But the bounty hunter's life isn't always fun and games and trickery, sometimes the trick is on the bounty hunter (regarding a female bounty Burton had caught and had to drive across a statelines):
Unfortunately, we found out that she had a very unpleasant habit of throwing her excrement at us. . . I would have been tempted to belt a guy throwing excrement about my van; but delivering a woman to county jail with a fat lip and black eyes would be too touchy.
And while we're on the subject of transport, let's not forget this rule of thumb:
While we’re on the subject of transport, let me mention that your car should be used for transporting the fugitive to the police station and not as a weapon for battering nor as a vehicle for high speed chases. Both can get you into far more trouble than the reward of bringing the prisoner in would be worth.
Also, sometimes you have to lead your bounty around by a chain around their neck, but don't think that means you can get away with being disrespectful:
With the chain you can walk him as if he’s on a leash. And going back to my earlier words on the subject of respect. Should this situation, don’t make light of it by referring to walking a dog. Your prisoner may be under extreme stress, and the situation will be distasteful enough as it is.
Later, Burton lists different airlines and their policies for flying with fugitives, and all I've got to say about this list is that I wouldn't fly Eastern airlines even if I could.
In the very brief chapter on Bribes, Burton has this to say:
In your work, you will be offered bribes by men who are about to lose their freedom. Don’t even think of taking them. Your personal honor, your reputation, and the possibility of your breaking the law are at stake.
Finally, Burton finishes the book (which really isn't very long) by describing the perfect bounty hunter:
The bondsmen is not looking for a bruiser. He is looking for a three-hundred pound linebacker with the wit and wisdom of Plato, the temperament of Woody Allen, the nose of Pluto, and the mind of F. Lee Bailey. Impossible dream? Perhaps, but there are many who approach this business who think all you have to do is man-handle the fugitive into the back seat of a car and hustle him off to the slammer.
Also, don't forget that he's looking for someone who's appearance and demeanor are above reproach.
PS This is Bob Burton
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Best Back-Up Plan
Although I'm about to (probably) graduate from NYU Law, I'm no fool. I know I should have a back up plan, just in case. Good thing I got this email today.
What's a "prestigious, non-accredited" university?
And yes, I realize the image doesn't fit.
If I have some spare time today, I'm going to tell you some of the stuff I've learned about bounty hunters. If I don't, then this is all you get . . . sorry.
What's a "prestigious, non-accredited" university?
And yes, I realize the image doesn't fit.
If I have some spare time today, I'm going to tell you some of the stuff I've learned about bounty hunters. If I don't, then this is all you get . . . sorry.
Monday, March 20, 2006
Best Neat New Things, pt. 5: The Portrait!!
Mitch painted my portrait! And gave it to me!
(If you have keen eyes, perhaps you've noticed my portrait in the upper right hand corner of my blog for the past two weeks? So this is the behind the scenes true story)
I believe this photo, taken from Jenna's blog, served as Mitch's inspiration.
Consider me quite impressed, very grateful, and more in love with my own face than usual.
PS Did you know that the Blogger spell-check doesn't know that "blog" is a word? Ha!
(If you have keen eyes, perhaps you've noticed my portrait in the upper right hand corner of my blog for the past two weeks? So this is the behind the scenes true story)
I believe this photo, taken from Jenna's blog, served as Mitch's inspiration.
Consider me quite impressed, very grateful, and more in love with my own face than usual.
PS Did you know that the Blogger spell-check doesn't know that "blog" is a word? Ha!
Saturday, March 18, 2006
Wow.
My blog is really messed up. I only see a couple of posts and my index is missing.
Update Duh, seems to be fixed now. I hope my blog stops acting haunted soon.
Update Duh, seems to be fixed now. I hope my blog stops acting haunted soon.
Friday, March 17, 2006
Best St. Patrick's Day Massacre
As you know by now, Steady Mobbin' was down for about SIXTEEN HOURS between last night and noonish today. I don't know what caused it, I suspect leprachauns, but can't confirm anything in that department. But I appreciated all the panicked and concerned emails and I'm glad outside forces were responsible for me discovering I had 0 hits at 10 am this morning.
Were the internet been working this morning, I'd have written about how people are so lazy about pinching on St. Patrick's now compared to my childhood.
UPDATE! UPDATE! Snakes on a Plane, the Official Trailer! Now Online! It's a plane, there's snakes on it . . . AND Samuel L. Jackson!! This is probably going to be the sort of awesome that Roll Bounce would have been had there been any roller skating in Roll Bounce.
Were the internet been working this morning, I'd have written about how people are so lazy about pinching on St. Patrick's now compared to my childhood.
UPDATE! UPDATE! Snakes on a Plane, the Official Trailer! Now Online! It's a plane, there's snakes on it . . . AND Samuel L. Jackson!! This is probably going to be the sort of awesome that Roll Bounce would have been had there been any roller skating in Roll Bounce.
Thursday, March 16, 2006
Best Neat New Things, pt. 4: The Failure!!
This latest edition of Best Neat New Stuff was supposed to be about the disclosing tablets I got from Diane Cannon, the dental hygienist. The post was going to start with a picture of the tablets, then have a picture of me chewing the tablets, then have a picture where my teeth were totally red from all the plaque that the tablets had disclosed, and then there'd be a picture of me brushing my teeth, and then a picture of how white my teeth became after a good brushing--and then this little experiment would inspire a lively discussion of dental hygiene in the comments section, or at least a few "Oh, I remember disclosing tablets! They're totally gross!" remarks.
That was the plan, but the plan failed. Twice.
The time I used the tablets my teeth were almost completely white after my minute of chewing and disclosing fluid swishing around. So I tried a second time last night, after having tried especially hard to have dirty teeth at the end of the day (I even didn't brush after lunch!) but my teeth were still sooo white after using the tablets, there was just a bit of pink between some of my teeth. Nothing too impressive. It turns out I take too good of care of my teeth, or something.
Another big reason that I'm calling this post a failure is that there was something sick about the close-up photos I took of my really-clean teeth. I've discovered the line which Steady Mobbin' will not cross: I will not post close-up. zoomed-in pictures of mouths, no matter how clean or dirty these mouths are.
Back to work.
Wednesday, March 15, 2006
Best Next Burger of the Week
Another night, another burger.
This time I put one of my new avocados to work and made a little guacamole to put on it. What kind of guacamole? Roasted garlic and roasted habanero guacamole. Turned out really spicy (duh), which was the idea. In Mexico guacamole is often really spicy. Numerous times I saw American missionaries decline a chili or a spoonful of salsa with their taco for fear of spice but put a big dollop of guacamole on their taco only to discover, yeah, that in Mexico guacamole is often really spicy. Oh, and as you may have figured out from the whiteness and holes, I used swiss cheese.
This time I put one of my new avocados to work and made a little guacamole to put on it. What kind of guacamole? Roasted garlic and roasted habanero guacamole. Turned out really spicy (duh), which was the idea. In Mexico guacamole is often really spicy. Numerous times I saw American missionaries decline a chili or a spoonful of salsa with their taco for fear of spice but put a big dollop of guacamole on their taco only to discover, yeah, that in Mexico guacamole is often really spicy. Oh, and as you may have figured out from the whiteness and holes, I used swiss cheese.
Best Observing of Hollywood Activities
This week they've been filming a movied called August Rush in Washington Square Park. Yesterday Jonathan Rhys Meyers, who I saw Saturday night in Bend it Like Beckham playing the coach of the soccer team, was there in the park.
First he was like, "I say, do you mind if I look at what you blokes are watching there?"
And then girls started getting brave and talking with him and he was like, "Oh, it is very nice to meet you. Oh yeah? You like my work? Why, thank you very much."
"A picture? Certainly, come right over. "
"Absolutely, you too love. And your friend. Hope you don't mind my cigarette."
Then his co-star, Freddie Highmore (from Neverland and that terrifying Chocolate Factory movie) showed up and the chaps talked about coffee with a p.a. I mean, "I say, this isn't the finest American coffee I ever had." "Yes, Willy Wonka had much better coffee in his factory!" "What can I say? I'm getting paid $5 an hour."
Something like that.
First he was like, "I say, do you mind if I look at what you blokes are watching there?"
And then girls started getting brave and talking with him and he was like, "Oh, it is very nice to meet you. Oh yeah? You like my work? Why, thank you very much."
"A picture? Certainly, come right over. "
"Absolutely, you too love. And your friend. Hope you don't mind my cigarette."
Then his co-star, Freddie Highmore (from Neverland and that terrifying Chocolate Factory movie) showed up and the chaps talked about coffee with a p.a. I mean, "I say, this isn't the finest American coffee I ever had." "Yes, Willy Wonka had much better coffee in his factory!" "What can I say? I'm getting paid $5 an hour."
Something like that.
Tuesday, March 14, 2006
Best Neat New Things, pt.3: Baby Arctic Seal!!
Famed SoHo Eskimo Jenna fled for warmer climates some months ago but left me this, the snowy-soft pelt of a baby arctic seal.
Reprazenting for frozen tundra snuggliness and polar bear dreams
Hardcore
Reprazenting for frozen tundra snuggliness and polar bear dreams
Hardcore
Monday, March 13, 2006
Best Neat New Things, pt.2: Avocados!!
Friday I got this from Grandma Taylor:
A box full of fresh-from-the-tree California avocados! They say money doesn't grow on trees, but if you've got access to an avocado tree, it sort of does. I've got a couple ripening in a bag right now, you should come by for guacamole in a couple days.
Also, apparently Grandma wears Chacos? Who knew?
A box full of fresh-from-the-tree California avocados! They say money doesn't grow on trees, but if you've got access to an avocado tree, it sort of does. I've got a couple ripening in a bag right now, you should come by for guacamole in a couple days.
Also, apparently Grandma wears Chacos? Who knew?
Best Attempt at Not Starving to Death
Sunday evening, a suitable time for feasting. If you're home with your family on Sunday, you could expect to feast on something like roast beef, potatoes, carrots, gravy, rolls, stuff like that. If you're home alone and feeling desperate, you feast like this:
Let me explain what's happening here (yes, hamburgers, duh. But there's more too it than that. . .) After church today I was thinking about White Castle, and how good grilled onion tastes with yellow mustard, and about how I had hamburger meat, buns, and a whole white onion in my fridge. So I decided to make Onion Mustard Cheeseburgers. What you do is slice up a whole white onion (yes, a whole white onion) as thin as possibly and then cook your burgers sitting on half the onions with the other half of the onions on top of the burgers. And you push down on the meat a lot, trying to get the onions to stick into it, because maybe you'll get lucky and the hamburgers will develop an oniony crust (this didn't really happen). And then you put a lot of really orange cheese on your burger. And then you decide the burgers are done, and you put them on buns with a just-right amount of yellow mustard and serve with tater tots, fry sauce, a chocolate milkshake, and, for healthiness, grapes (they didn't fit into the photo, but believe me they were there). This meal g goes quite well with a couple episodes of the Office that you've downloaded onto your computer and believe me, a couple Onion Mustard Cheeseburgers will really help you get in the mood for your Sunday nap.
Also, now that I think about it, a side of celery sticks would probably go quite well with this meal.
Let me explain what's happening here (yes, hamburgers, duh. But there's more too it than that. . .) After church today I was thinking about White Castle, and how good grilled onion tastes with yellow mustard, and about how I had hamburger meat, buns, and a whole white onion in my fridge. So I decided to make Onion Mustard Cheeseburgers. What you do is slice up a whole white onion (yes, a whole white onion) as thin as possibly and then cook your burgers sitting on half the onions with the other half of the onions on top of the burgers. And you push down on the meat a lot, trying to get the onions to stick into it, because maybe you'll get lucky and the hamburgers will develop an oniony crust (this didn't really happen). And then you put a lot of really orange cheese on your burger. And then you decide the burgers are done, and you put them on buns with a just-right amount of yellow mustard and serve with tater tots, fry sauce, a chocolate milkshake, and, for healthiness, grapes (they didn't fit into the photo, but believe me they were there). This meal g goes quite well with a couple episodes of the Office that you've downloaded onto your computer and believe me, a couple Onion Mustard Cheeseburgers will really help you get in the mood for your Sunday nap.
Also, now that I think about it, a side of celery sticks would probably go quite well with this meal.
Friday, March 10, 2006
Best Reason to Stay In Tonight
Tonight's Conan: A whole hour dedicated to his State Visit to Finland.
Best Neat New Things, pt.1: Crocodile!!
Welcome to Part One of a new ongoing series focusing on neat new things I just got. You see, I just got a lot of neat new things recently and would like to brag about them. My first neat new thing is a crocodile that Marsha made for me.
Marsha actually gave me this crocodile back when I took a secret trip to somewhere, but I accidentally left it there (the sort of error you realize you've made as you sit in your seat, waiting for takeoff) BUT Mitch was able to rescue him for me (not like Keri didn't try, though) and now my Crocodile has a New York home.
(You might say to yourself: "Wait, isn't that an alligator?" and to that I say, "If you only understood this animal's aggressive nature and contempt for humankind, then you'd understand that it was a Crocodile." Also, Crocodiles are related to Chocodiles, and I'm a fan of those.)
If you gave me something neat recently, don't worry. I'm going to give it too much attention soon.
PS If you're really jealous and want something made by Marsha you could always pay her money for something here.
Marsha actually gave me this crocodile back when I took a secret trip to somewhere, but I accidentally left it there (the sort of error you realize you've made as you sit in your seat, waiting for takeoff) BUT Mitch was able to rescue him for me (not like Keri didn't try, though) and now my Crocodile has a New York home.
(You might say to yourself: "Wait, isn't that an alligator?" and to that I say, "If you only understood this animal's aggressive nature and contempt for humankind, then you'd understand that it was a Crocodile." Also, Crocodiles are related to Chocodiles, and I'm a fan of those.)
If you gave me something neat recently, don't worry. I'm going to give it too much attention soon.
PS If you're really jealous and want something made by Marsha you could always pay her money for something here.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Best Not Sleep on the Ticketmaster Clickety-Click
To all my New York City and Environs Ninjas:
Don't forget to buy your Gorillaz tickets. Friday, 11am.
Click.
It'll be a show of the Spectacular Spectacular variety.
Fly back from New Zealand should you need.
Don't forget to buy your Gorillaz tickets. Friday, 11am.
Click.
It'll be a show of the Spectacular Spectacular variety.
Fly back from New Zealand should you need.
Best You Will Eventually Find this Annoying
So, super-accomplished hip hop DJ Mark Ronson has been working on this album of soul versions of popular indie rock hits, right? (I think the record is going to be called "Version" or something like that) The song from the yet-to-be released comp that's getting the most play this day is a cover of Radiohead's "Just" that Ronson recorded with Alex Greenwald from Phantom Planet. Maybe you've heard the song once or twice and thought it was neat or maybe you've heard the song three or four times and now find it annoying. Either way, this is the video to the song and it stars boring old graffiti being fun! Let's here it for fun!
Best Tribute to Atreyu
Neverending Story: The Van!
When my mom took us to see the Neverending Story I couldn't believe we were going to go see a movie without my dad (where was the money coming from?). Also, it's my earliest memory of my mom disliking a movie. And I problems with the dragon being a dog with scales. And we went to a theater that was really far away from our house. Whatever, I was 7.
When my mom took us to see the Neverending Story I couldn't believe we were going to go see a movie without my dad (where was the money coming from?). Also, it's my earliest memory of my mom disliking a movie. And I problems with the dragon being a dog with scales. And we went to a theater that was really far away from our house. Whatever, I was 7.
Wednesday, March 08, 2006
Best Totally Awesome Demise Update
All the Super Dell information you could possibly want found at this blog. I don't have the courage or strength to willingly watch any of the video clips or listen to any of the audio.
Best On-the-Go Downloadableness
Podcasts. They're a big deal and great for listening to if you like to walk to school, travel, or go grocery shopping. These are the ones I've indulged in:
The Ricky Gervais Show on Guardian Unlimited Of course. It's the most downloaded podcast ever invented (because podcasts are relatively new). Makes for excellent listening on airplanes and slightly less excellent subway listening because it's a little weird to be trying to hold in fits of laughter while traveling with sullen New Yorkers. Unfortuntely, the shows wear a little thin when you realize it's just going to be 20 minutes of making fun of Karl Pilkington every time. The last couple shows can be found here.
East Village Radio A great New York-based internet radio station that makes all of its programming available as podcasts. An excellent way to stay hip and cutting edge in genres of music you didn't even know existed. In particular, I often listen to the MisShapes show (Dj'd by the kids behind the popular hipster dance night, if you listen to it every week there's a lot of music that's repeated, but if you only check it out every now and then it's a good time), The LetOut (presented by the Fader magazine and typically run by DJ Nick Catchdubs and others associated with the Rub), and Mark Ronson's Friday night show. Explore East Village Radio dot Com to find the shows that suit you best.
MadDecent Radio This is exciting, a new show put together by Diplo, the more popular half of Hollertronix and the man behind (among so many other things) Piracy Funds Terrorism. From the gutter sounds of the first show it's safe to say that Baltimore is the new Brazil. If you've listened to, say, at least two Diplo or Hollertronix mixes besides Piracy Funds Terrorism then you've probably heard most of what's on the first episode of MadDecent (but it's still, you know, mad decent, so don't sweat it). MadDecent Radio can be found in the iTunes music store.
Dear Readers: What podcasts do you like?
The Ricky Gervais Show on Guardian Unlimited Of course. It's the most downloaded podcast ever invented (because podcasts are relatively new). Makes for excellent listening on airplanes and slightly less excellent subway listening because it's a little weird to be trying to hold in fits of laughter while traveling with sullen New Yorkers. Unfortuntely, the shows wear a little thin when you realize it's just going to be 20 minutes of making fun of Karl Pilkington every time. The last couple shows can be found here.
East Village Radio A great New York-based internet radio station that makes all of its programming available as podcasts. An excellent way to stay hip and cutting edge in genres of music you didn't even know existed. In particular, I often listen to the MisShapes show (Dj'd by the kids behind the popular hipster dance night, if you listen to it every week there's a lot of music that's repeated, but if you only check it out every now and then it's a good time), The LetOut (presented by the Fader magazine and typically run by DJ Nick Catchdubs and others associated with the Rub), and Mark Ronson's Friday night show. Explore East Village Radio dot Com to find the shows that suit you best.
MadDecent Radio This is exciting, a new show put together by Diplo, the more popular half of Hollertronix and the man behind (among so many other things) Piracy Funds Terrorism. From the gutter sounds of the first show it's safe to say that Baltimore is the new Brazil. If you've listened to, say, at least two Diplo or Hollertronix mixes besides Piracy Funds Terrorism then you've probably heard most of what's on the first episode of MadDecent (but it's still, you know, mad decent, so don't sweat it). MadDecent Radio can be found in the iTunes music store.
Dear Readers: What podcasts do you like?
Tuesday, March 07, 2006
Best Totally Awesome Demise
This is a post for people who used to live in Utah but don't anymore, because you'd have to have lived in Utah to know about this guy, and if you live in Utah, then you already know this news. Anyway . . .
Hey, remember Totally Awesome Computers, the little Utah computer company that could, and more importantly, do you remember "Super Dell," the owner of Totally Awesome Computers and star of all their commercials? You know, the little guy that came across as a little crazy? But that was just to get us interested in his computers, right? Well, he unexpectedly shut down his chain of stores last week and this Salt Lake Tribune article has enough details on the situation to make you laugh a little at first but then start to feel more than a little uncomfortable.
If you're not much for clicking links, let me provide you with one of the article's choicest paragraphs, an explanation of why his stores had to close:
"This is thanks to all of you," Schanze told reporters gathered outside the Jordan Commons Megaplex. "All the media in Utah are liars and murderers . . . . I would not want to be in your shoes having caused this. You are agents of Satan and you need to repent."
Yeah, I can't say this news is totally surprising. But what is surprising is that I can't find any Totally Awesome Computers ads on the internet, if you saw one this whole post would mean a lot more to you.
Hey, remember Totally Awesome Computers, the little Utah computer company that could, and more importantly, do you remember "Super Dell," the owner of Totally Awesome Computers and star of all their commercials? You know, the little guy that came across as a little crazy? But that was just to get us interested in his computers, right? Well, he unexpectedly shut down his chain of stores last week and this Salt Lake Tribune article has enough details on the situation to make you laugh a little at first but then start to feel more than a little uncomfortable.
If you're not much for clicking links, let me provide you with one of the article's choicest paragraphs, an explanation of why his stores had to close:
"This is thanks to all of you," Schanze told reporters gathered outside the Jordan Commons Megaplex. "All the media in Utah are liars and murderers . . . . I would not want to be in your shoes having caused this. You are agents of Satan and you need to repent."
Yeah, I can't say this news is totally surprising. But what is surprising is that I can't find any Totally Awesome Computers ads on the internet, if you saw one this whole post would mean a lot more to you.
Monday, March 06, 2006
Best Reason for Multiple Posts in a Single Day, pt.III
The final(?) trailer for X-Men 3 is up at Apple, but for some reason there's no link for it on the main trailer page. Anyway, here's the trailer.
Pretty hard to be very excited about this one, but there were a couple nice moments there.
Pretty hard to be very excited about this one, but there were a couple nice moments there.
Best Reason for Multiple Posts in a Single Day, pt.II
Because sometimes I have thoughts that I can't keep to myself, like:
"Swanson's shouldn't call them Hungry Man Dinners, they should call them 'Patient Man' Dinners, because my Beef and Noodles with Gravy takes 14 minutes to microwave."
"Swanson's shouldn't call them Hungry Man Dinners, they should call them 'Patient Man' Dinners, because my Beef and Noodles with Gravy takes 14 minutes to microwave."
Sunday, March 05, 2006
Best Update
What happens if one of your car stackers falls down? All your stackers get taken down.
I think Steady Mobbin' should now be considered a news site. So move your briggie.blogspot.com bookmark over to your News folder.
Oscars. Pfffft. But there were some funny jokes.
I think Steady Mobbin' should now be considered a news site. So move your briggie.blogspot.com bookmark over to your News folder.
Oscars. Pfffft. But there were some funny jokes.
Friday, March 03, 2006
Best Day for a Sulk
Yesterday was grey, cold, and with light frozen rain all day long. It was the perfect sort of day for sitting at home and not doing anything and maybe thinking to yourself, "Ho hum, it's such a dreary day. I could sit here forever with my books, thinking of memories."
But instead of doing that, I went and saw Belle and Sebastian play the Nokia Theater in Times Square.
Fact: If you say you don't care for Belle and Sebastian, you certainly haven't seen them live.
Fact: If you'd say you're, at best, a casual fan of Belle and Sebastian, you certainly haven't seen them live.
Fact: Remember the Belle and Sebastian cartoon from Nickelodeon? Remember how you'd have the choice between Robotech and Belle and Sebastian every day, and that's why you never watched much of that big white dog show, but were still amazed that the villains would do things like tie Sebastian up and leave him in a burning house?
Anyway, I first became aware of B&S in 1998 and paid them next to no mind until about 49 weeks ago, and then I became a casual listener . . . but last night I saw them for real and it was so good that, if I didn't already have different plans for today (and if it weren't, uhm, sunny and bright blue outside), I'd be tempted to spend today listening to their records and writing letters. Or watercoloring.
What songs did they play? Oh, you know. Lots of the ones that I recognized and lots of that ones that I didn't recognize. How long did they play? About two hours! Was it ever as crazy as, say, a Leeway show? Well, Stuart the Singer did sing a verse or two of a song lying on his back on top of the crowd. What was the absolute best part?
Get this:
5/6ths of the way through the set, Stuart starts complaining that he's been working so much and wasn't feeling happy enough (something like that) and that he wanted the Home of the Free to make him feel better (or something like that). So he says what he needs to be happier are some volunteers to come on stage (every hand in the audience goes up). BUT there are some qualifications to get on stage: You need to be a girl (half the hands go down). You need to be over 5'4" (all the teeny tiny hands that aren't held up very high in the audience go down). You need to be wearing a skirt (more hands down). From the remaining hands Stuart picks out 6 girls to join him on stage as dancers for a number. What percentage surprised was I to see Mitch Clark getting on stage to dance with the band? 0%. By what percentage did Mitch outdance every other girl on that stage? By about at least seven million percent. The five other girls were just like "Oh, I'm on stage with this band and they want me to dance, I'm a little shy right now, I'll just move back and forth a little" whereas Mitch, of course, only looked like she had been practicing every day just in case something like this happened. All I've got to say is the Boy Scouts were right, Be Prepared. Rack up those living room dancing hours because you'll never know when you'll need them.
Other Good Parts of the Night: Sure, seeing Michael Musto riding his bike through Times Square was neat, but I much preferred seeing my friend Demetri again and catching up a little.
But instead of doing that, I went and saw Belle and Sebastian play the Nokia Theater in Times Square.
Fact: If you say you don't care for Belle and Sebastian, you certainly haven't seen them live.
Fact: If you'd say you're, at best, a casual fan of Belle and Sebastian, you certainly haven't seen them live.
Fact: Remember the Belle and Sebastian cartoon from Nickelodeon? Remember how you'd have the choice between Robotech and Belle and Sebastian every day, and that's why you never watched much of that big white dog show, but were still amazed that the villains would do things like tie Sebastian up and leave him in a burning house?
Anyway, I first became aware of B&S in 1998 and paid them next to no mind until about 49 weeks ago, and then I became a casual listener . . . but last night I saw them for real and it was so good that, if I didn't already have different plans for today (and if it weren't, uhm, sunny and bright blue outside), I'd be tempted to spend today listening to their records and writing letters. Or watercoloring.
What songs did they play? Oh, you know. Lots of the ones that I recognized and lots of that ones that I didn't recognize. How long did they play? About two hours! Was it ever as crazy as, say, a Leeway show? Well, Stuart the Singer did sing a verse or two of a song lying on his back on top of the crowd. What was the absolute best part?
Get this:
5/6ths of the way through the set, Stuart starts complaining that he's been working so much and wasn't feeling happy enough (something like that) and that he wanted the Home of the Free to make him feel better (or something like that). So he says what he needs to be happier are some volunteers to come on stage (every hand in the audience goes up). BUT there are some qualifications to get on stage: You need to be a girl (half the hands go down). You need to be over 5'4" (all the teeny tiny hands that aren't held up very high in the audience go down). You need to be wearing a skirt (more hands down). From the remaining hands Stuart picks out 6 girls to join him on stage as dancers for a number. What percentage surprised was I to see Mitch Clark getting on stage to dance with the band? 0%. By what percentage did Mitch outdance every other girl on that stage? By about at least seven million percent. The five other girls were just like "Oh, I'm on stage with this band and they want me to dance, I'm a little shy right now, I'll just move back and forth a little" whereas Mitch, of course, only looked like she had been practicing every day just in case something like this happened. All I've got to say is the Boy Scouts were right, Be Prepared. Rack up those living room dancing hours because you'll never know when you'll need them.
Other Good Parts of the Night: Sure, seeing Michael Musto riding his bike through Times Square was neat, but I much preferred seeing my friend Demetri again and catching up a little.
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Best Jabs at Them Indie Kids and Them Shadow Warriors
Aziz Ansari, a New York comedian who makes funny videos, recently made a funny video about two jerky rock snobs that work at Other Music and it was posted on Stereogum. Almost the whole video is funny, so you should watch it, especially if you either like or dislike hip people. If you're ambivalent about hipness, then this video probably isn't for you.
This is the Link to the movie, scroll down a tiny bit when you get there:
"When I tell Sujfan about this his going to . . . insult you."
Also I've been meaning to post this next link for a long time. A while ago a new super-fancy Japanese restaurant opened in New York. So what, right? Super-fancy Japansese restarants are opening all the time in New York, right? Well, what if I told you this restaurant was called Ninja and it was a super-fancy Ninja-themed Japanese restaurant where it's like you're having dinner in a secret Ninja village? Kind of like the Mayan, but starting at $80 a head, and for business people. Sound ridiculous? You really have to read the NY Times review of the place, it's beautifully vitrolic.
This is the Link to the movie, scroll down a tiny bit when you get there:
"When I tell Sujfan about this his going to . . . insult you."
Also I've been meaning to post this next link for a long time. A while ago a new super-fancy Japanese restaurant opened in New York. So what, right? Super-fancy Japansese restarants are opening all the time in New York, right? Well, what if I told you this restaurant was called Ninja and it was a super-fancy Ninja-themed Japanese restaurant where it's like you're having dinner in a secret Ninja village? Kind of like the Mayan, but starting at $80 a head, and for business people. Sound ridiculous? You really have to read the NY Times review of the place, it's beautifully vitrolic.
Best Riding of the Crest of a High and Beautiful Wave
“With the right kind of eyes you can almost see the high-water mark -
-the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”
I can't imagine my hits having quintupling again by next February. Then again, who even knows if there will be a Steady Mobbin' a year from now?
Just kidding, you know I can't stop. Thanks for visiting.
-the place where the wave finally broke and rolled back.”
I can't imagine my hits having quintupling again by next February. Then again, who even knows if there will be a Steady Mobbin' a year from now?
Just kidding, you know I can't stop. Thanks for visiting.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)