I've done a few things in my life that other people thought were pretty great (I'll spare you the list, unless you beg for it) but two weeks ago I just got lazy and didn't shave one morning, or the next, or the next--next thing I know, it's been two weeks and my face is all fuzzy and you know what? Nothing I have ever done in my life ever has ever been met with such universal praise, support, and approval! While I sort of expect people to ask me things like "What's wrong with your face?" or "Why are you so lazy about shaving?" everyone is saying "Oooh, Brigham, I love your beard!" (They decided it was a beard, not me.) Girls I had previously considered mild mannered haven't been able to resist tugging at it and gentlemen on the street with "real" full-grown beards give me this look, this look that says: "Yes. Keep it up my son, you are well on your way."
So, even though it's all itchy, I'm sticking with not shaving for the next two weeks (if you know why two more weeks then you know why two more weeks, if you don't, then make sure to check in around Christmas) and who knows how far this little experiment will get.
Also! Having a beard gave me this really great idea for an invention: It's called "The Beard-Azzler" and it's a gun that studs your facial hair with rhinestones! But please, don't confuse "The Beard-Azzler" with "The Bear-Dazzler," an entirely different and far more dangerous decorating tool.
PS Something that might not meet with universal praise: My Federal Income Tax final that I'm taking Tuesday afternoon?
8 comments:
Is this going to be like your christmas mustache from last year?
-Owen
OOH! Brigham! You're all hottied-out! I think you may be my first ever blogger crush.
We will be both suffering through the same final, for the same course, in the same afternoon timeslot on the same day.
Cosmic.
May the depreciation gods accelerate your score.
-Ryan
Oh my gosh, Brigham, it's true, that is the best thing you've ever done. That beard is sexy, it gives you a South American vigilante kind of look.
Ahhh...There but for my calling as an Ordinance Worker go I myself!
I envy you Brigham; letting your beard grow is analogous to a woman burning her bra. You're fighting the power, living for yourself! Sure, most girls nowadays insist that their men be clean-shaven (out of some latent lesbianism on their part, claim my psychologist friends) but you're not giving in to the social pressures. You're out there, man...in the AETHER.
I salute you!
Grrr.
http://www.worldbeardchampionships.com/
love the beard!
Briggie! You look HOT with a beard. Well done good sir.
Post a Comment